Let me begin with something that’s undeniably true: I miss you.
We’ve shared a friendship for two, perhaps even three decades, and although life has taken us to different cities for much of that time, there are still days when I feel an overwhelming sense of longing for you. The bittersweet nostalgia sometimes washes over me so intensely that it feels tangible. There are moments when the ache of missing you resonates deep within me, like a muscle worn out after an intense workout (if I were actually the type to hit the gym, that is). And then there are days when a sudden wave of homesickness hits me with such force that I feel almost unsteady.
Through the years, we have largely come to terms with the current nature of our friendship—a reality that seems destined to persist. Our primary means of staying connected now consist of texts, emails, Facebook messages, and the occasional (rare?) phone call, and for the most part, I’ve accepted this new norm. I might even go as far as to say that, on most days, I’ve grown accustomed to it.
However, acceptance doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes yearn for a different reality—one where we lived closer, spent more time together, and weren’t so bogged down with life’s demands. I still miss you. I will always miss you.
I reminisce about how effortless it used to be to spend time together. I long for the days when I could simply stroll down the hall or pick up the phone to say, “I’ve got wine, and I’m on my way.” I miss those lengthy conversations that meandered endlessly because we had nowhere to rush off to. I miss our comfortable silences, our spontaneous borrowing of shoes and makeup without a second thought, and our beloved ritual of binge-watching shows like 90210 and Party of Five.
I miss our authenticity, the way we allowed ourselves to be truly seen and known. I miss sharing our grand dreams, unencumbered by adult responsibilities like work, kids, and financial worries. I miss how being together felt like a return home. But above all, I just miss you.
As time has passed, we’ve cultivated new friendships—strong bonds formed with neighbors, colleagues, and fellow parents. These friendships help fill the voids left by distance and time apart. They help us navigate the complexities of life and ease the loneliness that can creep in. Yet, as grateful as I am for these new connections, they simply aren’t you.
Life seems to be speeding by, often too fast. Days morph into weeks and months filled with piano lessons, soccer games, endless work meetings, and countless birthday celebrations. Before I know it, years have gone by. But when we finally reunite—whether it’s for a few hours on a lazy Sunday or a quick lunch during your business trip—the world pauses for a moment, allowing us to reconnect fully.
We might go long stretches without seeing each other—our friendship relying on digital messages and social media. But when we do meet again, it feels like we’re back on that old, tattered couch from our college days. Our conversations may now revolve around our families and jobs, rather than our youthful escapades, but the familiarity and authenticity are still there. Our bond remains strong, and our friendship still feels like home.
Beneath the layers of nostalgia lies the solid framework of our shared history, and despite the years apart, the foundation we built through decades of friendship stands strong. We can step back into those empty spaces created by time and fill them with laughter, hugs, and heartfelt conversations, as if no time has passed at all.
Despite our different paths as adults—whether working parents or stay-at-home moms, and regardless of our locations—our shared past allows us to bridge those gaps. While our differences might seem to outnumber our similarities on paper, the depth of our friendship transcends those distinctions.
So we gather whenever we can, which is never often enough. When we do, we catch up on lives that have diverged so much from our younger selves. We share laughter and tears, reminiscing about the past, recalling those moments with “Remember when…” as we nearly double over with laughter. We tackle the tougher subjects too—dealing with health issues, marital struggles, and aging parents—conversations made lighter by the presence of a true friend.
And when our time together comes to an end, we hug tightly, utter “I love you,” and make plans for our next reunion. Then we slip back into our daily lives, focusing on our families and nearby friends. We keep in touch through texts and social media, but amidst the hustle of everyday life, we miss each other—until the next time, when we will pick up right where we left off, as if no time has passed at all.
Until next time…
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Summary
This heartfelt reflection captures the deep longing for cherished friendships that have evolved over decades. It emphasizes the bittersweet nature of nostalgia, the challenges of maintaining connections across distances, and the joy of rekindling bonds that feel timeless. Despite life’s rapid pace and the emergence of new friendships, the enduring ties of true friendship remain irreplaceable.