As a divorced mother, I’ve come to terms with a significant change in my life: I no longer have the luxury of spending every morning and evening with my children. For years, our family would gather around the dining table, filling up five of the six chairs, sharing stories about our day and sometimes butting heads over my insistence on table manners while my kids preferred to eat pasta with their hands. After dinner, I’d tidy up while they worked on their homework at the kitchen island, and we’d engage in endless debates over whether to watch Wheel of Fortune or Seinfeld reruns.
We’d occasionally head out for snowshoeing in the backyard or take the dog for a walk. I cherished those evenings where I could relax on the sofa with a book while my ex-husband played basketball with the kids outside. I was able to be present every night, hearing the routine sounds of bedtime, complete with tooth brushing and the inevitable negotiations about how many kisses they really needed before sleep.
The Shift in Routine
Mornings were also special. I would wander down the hall, greeting them in a silly voice, something they once found amusing. But as they’ve grown, my cheerful wake-up calls are often met with groans and complaints as I remind them to rise and shine and ask what they want for breakfast. I would give them a little pep talk, encouraging them to seize the day.
Now, however, three nights a week, my home feels empty. The chairs around the dining table are vacant, and the kitchen island is devoid of homework clutter. The silence is palpable, often overwhelming, making it hard to concentrate, and loneliness can be deafening. I find myself waking up and heading downstairs without glancing down the hall, as if by avoiding the sight, I can lessen the feeling of emptiness.
Building a New Life
Since my divorce, I’ve been busy building a new social life, embracing this new chapter of my life. I understand the importance of having personal time and fun outside of being a parent, but when my children are home, I prioritize our time together. I’m well aware that our moments are limited, and I want to make the most of them.
When I decline invitations for girls’ night or other outings, some people look at me confused. They often ask if I can leave my teenagers alone for a few hours. My answer is a firm no. I choose to stay home because I value our time together, knowing that soon enough, they will be off on their own adventures.
Prioritizing Family Time
While I recognize the need for personal time, dedicating four nights a week to my kids feels right for me. I refuse to let the pressure of social obligations take precedence over the precious moments we have together. I know that those who are meant to be in my life will understand my choice to prioritize my children.
In the end, I have many years ahead to enjoy freedom and spontaneity. I don’t want to look back and wish I had spent more time with my kids while they were living under my roof. So on the nights they are with me, I’ll be right by their side, and everyone else will have to adjust.
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Conclusion
In summary, as a divorced mother, I choose to prioritize my time with my children on the nights they are home. Even as they grow older and more independent, I find value in our shared moments, knowing that this time is fleeting.