Reflecting on my upbringing with a dedicated single mother, I quickly learned how to navigate life’s challenges independently. While she was supportive, there was minimal hand-holding involved. My mom, though protective in her own way, was more of a fierce lioness than a hovering helicopter parent.
The recent college admissions scandal involving high-profile figures brought back memories of my own college application journey. Thanks to my grandparents, who prioritized education, my family lived in a modest apartment in an affluent Long Island community during my high school years. Unlike my peers, who participated in countless pricey extracurricular activities and had access to extensive tutoring, my options were limited. I remember struggling with the math section of the SAT and pleading with my mom for a tutor, which she could only afford for a couple of sessions.
When it came to applying for colleges, I felt frustrated that I had to navigate the process largely on my own. Though I made several mistakes along the way, I ultimately succeeded, worked my way through college, and take pride in my accomplishments. I believe the resilience and life skills I developed were a result of my independence during that time.
Now, as a mother to two boys—one on the verge of entering high school—I frequently contemplate the balance between guiding and letting them find their path. In many respects, I tend to “baby” them more than my own mother did, likely because I want to make their lives easier. However, perhaps it’s also a consequence of our generation’s reputation as helicopter parents.
Yet, as I navigate the pre-teen and teenage years, I’m realizing there’s more to consider than just how much support to provide. Today, we face a more intense parenting style than our parents or even those a decade ago. Welcome to the world of “snowplow parenting.”
Snowplow parents are those who actively work to eliminate any obstacles in their children’s paths to success, ensuring they avoid failure, frustration, or missed opportunities. The New York Times describes these parents as relentless machines, clearing every hurdle that could impede their child’s progression.
High-profile cases, like those involving celebrities Sarah and Mark, epitomize this parenting trend. Although extreme examples such as bribing college admissions or hiring someone to take exams are typically associated with affluent families willing to break the law, the underlying principle of snowplow parenting extends beyond these boundaries.
A recent survey by The New York Times and Morning Consult revealed that snowplow parenting is widespread, even among parents of young adults aged 18-28. Astonishingly, approximately 75% of these parents scheduled doctor or haircut appointments for their kids. Additionally, 16% admitted to waking their children for college exams, while 8% contacted professors to resolve grade issues. Even more surprising, 11% would not hesitate to intervene with their children’s employers if necessary! It’s a revelation that makes me wonder about the expectations of my own generation.
Navigating this new landscape of parenting is challenging. While wanting our children to succeed and protecting them from heartache is understandable, it’s crucial for them to learn to cope with mistakes and failures. Teaching fundamental life skills—like managing their schedules and making appointments—should be second nature to them.
For me, this perspective helps clarify my own parenting choices. I might provide more assistance during the college application process than my mother did, largely because I now have a supportive partner. I may consider hiring a tutor for my kids if our budget allows and if I believe they would genuinely benefit from it.
Most parents today, I believe, are not as extreme as the snowplow parents often depicted in the media. We are simply striving to make informed decisions for our children—attempting to establish a solid foundation while determining how much they should be challenged and when to step back.
Ultimately, it may come down to trusting our instincts and believing that everything will turn out alright. For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this great resource on pregnancy and home insemination or explore this guide for at-home insemination kits. And remember to read our privacy policy for more information.
Summary
In today’s parenting landscape, “snowplow parents” are emerging as a more extreme version of the previous “helicopter parents,” actively removing obstacles from their children’s paths. While the desire to protect children from failure is understandable, it’s essential for kids to learn resilience and basic life skills. Balancing support and independence is crucial for their growth, and many parents are navigating this challenge while striving to make the best choices for their families.