The woman who brought my twin daughters into the world is many things, but she does not hold the title of their mother. She is the one who carried my girls during pregnancy and provided them with the nurturing they needed when I could not. Her generosity, kindness, and compassion know no bounds. Our bond, forged through the life-giving experience of bringing my daughters into existence, has turned her into a cherished friend.
But she is not their mother.
If you were to ask her, she would agree. This sentiment is universally shared among gestational surrogates. They are not the mothers of the babies they carry; their role is a distinct and invaluable one that creates a special connection.
A gestational surrogate has no genetic ties to the embryos she carries. An embryo formed from the genetic material of the intended parents is implanted in her uterus. In some cases, one or both intended parents may require a donor to help create the embryo. It often takes a collaborative effort involving numerous individuals to bring a new life into the world and fulfill a family’s dreams.
Our Journey
In my journey, my husband and I faced a significant challenge. Just three months before our wedding, I was diagnosed with cancer and informed that the treatments could leave me infertile. It was not the cancer diagnosis that brought me to tears, nor was it the impending surgeries or side effects. It was the realization that I might never be able to bear children. That struck a deep chord.
Fortunately, my oncologist recognized my distress and referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist. The fertility specialist recommended an expedited process to create embryos for cryopreservation. We succeeded in producing eight embryos, which provided me with immense relief during a harrowing time.
After my cancer went into remission, my husband and I began discussing starting our family. Our first pregnancy, achieved using half of our frozen embryos, led to the birth of a healthy baby boy. However, I faced severe complications and underwent an emergency hysterectomy, leaving me devastated at the thought of never giving our remaining embryos a chance at life. Our dream of a family seemed shattered.
Emily’s Remarkable Contribution
Then came Emily. This remarkable woman, who did not know me personally but had empathy for others in similar situations, reached out. She understood our financial constraints and offered to help us give our embryos a chance. That glimmer of hope pulled me from my despair.
Being a gestational surrogate requires a deep commitment. The process involves medical evaluations, psychological assessments, background checks, numerous appointments, and various medications, including self-administered injections. If successful, she must navigate the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy.
Emily faced it all with grace. She nurtured our daughters in her womb until they were ready to be born. My husband and I were present as she brought our daughters into the world.
Emily gave life to our daughters, but she is not their mother. She represents something truly special. We wanted to honor her in a meaningful way. While birthdays might seem like an obvious choice, we felt that Mother’s Day wouldn’t adequately recognize her role. So, we created a day just for her: Surrogate’s Day. We chose September 25th, the day our embryos were implanted in her womb, recognizing the commitment she made that day—one that changed our lives forever.
Thanks to her selflessness, we now have the family we always dreamed of, filling a void I once thought would never be filled. Although we may not express it daily, our gratitude for her gift is unwavering. Each year on Surrogate’s Day, we celebrate Emily and her extraordinary contribution. The idea is gaining traction within the surrogacy community, and we invite others to join us in honoring these remarkable women.
Further Resources
For more information on related topics, you can explore this excellent resource on pregnancy and learn about home insemination strategies. If you’re considering your own journey, check out the authority on fertility for guidance on self-insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, while the woman who carried my daughters is not their mother, her role is irreplaceable. She has given us the opportunity to fulfill our dreams of parenthood, and we celebrate her every year on Surrogate’s Day.