By: Mariah Taylor
Updated: Aug. 16, 2023
Originally Published: April 26, 2023
As a mother raising three Black boys, I can honestly say that the journey is not without its challenges. While I view my sons just like any other children, I am acutely aware of the harsh realities they may face. There are individuals who will judge them based solely on the color of their skin, without ever taking the time to truly know who they are.
My boys are kind, respectful, and loving individuals who inspire me every day. It saddens me to think that I must teach them lessons that go beyond what many parents cover with their children. Unfortunately, the world we inhabit still harbors anger and prejudice. Although there has been some progress, negative stereotypes and judgments linger. My husband and I recognize that we must take extra steps to guide our sons through this complex landscape.
Among the many valuable lessons we aim to impart, here are three that stand out the most:
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You Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
We encourage our sons to embrace their uniqueness and recognize their intrinsic worth. Family discussions often revolve around highlighting their strengths and what makes each of them special. It’s essential for them to build a solid foundation of self-esteem, understanding that there is nothing wrong with who they are. I grew up in a nurturing environment where my parents consistently affirmed my worth, and I want the same for my boys. I remember times in high school when I grappled with feelings of inadequacy, amplified by hurtful comments from peers. If my parents hadn’t prioritized self-worth, those experiences could have had a much more detrimental impact. My hope is that my sons will carry the confidence to face challenges, secure in the knowledge of their value.
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Choose Faith Over Fear
As a mother, fear is a constant companion when it comes to raising my Black boys. This isn’t merely sensationalized news; I have friends who have faced terrifying experiences rooted in racism. It is vital for us to teach our children that while negative individuals exist in every profession, they should rise above hate. We don’t label the police as inherently bad, but rather help our boys navigate a world where bias exists. We foster discussions about real-life situations, encouraging them to lean on their faith during difficult times. Fear can be paralyzing, but we believe that faith in God is a far more powerful force. I often find myself anxious about their future, particularly as they approach college, but I am learning to trust in a divine plan for their lives. We prioritize family discussions around their feelings, hopes, and fears, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.
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The World is Your Oyster
Often, society tries to pigeonhole young Black men into narrow definitions of success, like professional sports or entertainment. We actively encourage our boys to dream big and explore various paths to success. We provide them with diverse experiences, empowering them to harness their intellect and creativity to effect positive change in the world. Statistically, they may need to work harder to prove themselves due to stereotypes, but we instill in them the belief that perseverance will pay off. The journey won’t always be smooth, but if they remain focused and dedicated, they can achieve their goals. My husband and I strive to build their confidence throughout their formative years, hoping they will encounter people who recognize their potential. I firmly believe that my sons will accomplish great things.
In summary, it is crucial for us, as parents, to nurture our sons’ self-worth, instill faith over fear, and encourage them to pursue their dreams. Despite the challenges they may face, I remain hopeful that the world will continue to evolve for the better.
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