Our son is now 12 and has taken a keen interest in American history. This summer, we thought it would be exciting to spend a few days exploring the National Mall and visiting the Smithsonian. I’d love to call it “the typical DC trip,” but to be honest, I’m not entirely certain what that entails since our family has never managed to go there together. We had ambitious plans for our trip to Washington, D.C. this year. I emphasize “had” because, well, things changed.
I suspect many of you can relate to this situation.
We began saving diligently, setting aside a specific amount each month for our “vacation fund.” By early April, everything was looking promising. If things went as planned, we’d reach our goal. I was feeling so accomplished, but then we took our two oldest kids to the orthodontist, only to discover they both needed braces. The estimate we received was enough to make my head spin.
So we faced a tough decision: use our saved vacation money to visit D.C. and disregard the orthodontist’s advice, or allocate it toward braces and enter a multi-year payment plan. You can probably guess which route we took. We canceled our trip and handed our vacation fund over to the orthodontist. It was disappointing, but it was the best choice for our family.
And honestly, I can’t explain why this seems to happen consistently, but it does. This pattern has characterized my parenting journey, and I suspect it always will. Both my partner and I work in education, and we live on a tight budget. We make sure our mortgage is paid and our kids are well-fed and dressed adequately, but when it comes to extras—like family vacations—something always pops up. Our vacation fund often gets consumed by unexpected, yet necessary expenses.
Last year, we had dreams of visiting Hawaii. We started saving, and then—surprise!—the van broke down. The year before, we had planned a family cruise, but then we needed to replace our washer and dryer. While we’ve managed to take some trips, they haven’t always matched the grand visions we had. For instance, when I was in graduate school, I was invited to speak at a conference in a small town. It sounded like a great cost-saving opportunity until we arrived and realized the highlight of the trip was the hotel pool.
Now, I don’t want to imply we are complete vacation failures. We did manage to visit Disneyland once, and it was an incredible experience. However, obstacles always seem to block our family trips. Does this mean we should manage our finances better? Should we invest in higher-quality appliances? Or trade our kids in for ones with straighter teeth? I honestly don’t think so. It just seems to be the reality of family life.
I see friends posting pictures of their family vacations in far-off places, dancing around historical landmarks or exploring breathtaking landscapes, and I can’t help but wonder if they’re doing everything right while I’m falling short. But I can’t explain why some families have the means to travel beyond their backyards, while ours often involves sleeping in my mother’s living room, bracing ourselves for the moment my stepdad forgets we’re there and walks out in his underwear.
If you find yourself in the same frustrating cycle of saving for a summer getaway only to have those plans derailed by unexpected events, know that you’re not alone. Many of us face similar challenges, and despite our best intentions, life sometimes throws curveballs.
Don’t feel like you’re failing; sometimes, life just has its way of keeping us grounded. Will it ever improve? I can’t say for sure, but I remain hopeful. In the meantime, let’s make the most of our backyard experiences. Take the kids on a local hike, pitch a tent in the living room, hang up some star lights, roast marshmallows, and pretend you’re camping in Yosemite. The real treasure lies in family time, and while we may prefer to spend it in glamorous locations, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy meaningful moments right where we are.
I’ve learned to cherish our summertime in the backyard and to appreciate what we have, even without extravagant trips.
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