As a dedicated sports mom, I find myself juggling my time between sleep, contemplating dinner options, and fervently supporting my kids at their myriad of soccer, basketball, lacrosse, and football games. With countless hours spent on the sidelines, I often find myself engaged in some serious introspection—or at the very least, indulging in a pack of Sour Patch Kids without judgment.
Watching my kids tackle the challenges of youth sports is rewarding, but let’s be real: by the time I hit my 1,038th game of the year, staying laser-focused is a challenge. Here’s a glimpse into my wandering thoughts during a typical game:
Thoughts from the Sidelines
- Why is our field always so far from the car?
- Did I forget to bring a blanket again? Oh wait, it’s in the trunk, but it’s covered in dog vomit. Should I risk it? Gross. Well, only if it gets really cold.
- This chair is so uncomfortable.
- Why do I always choose the broken chair? I’ll just wait until everyone leaves before I attempt to escape. My knees are practically in my face. Just smile; no one will notice.
- How old are those kids on the opposing team?
- Seriously, that one player looks like he could drive. Does he have facial hair? Haha, I’m hilarious. I could really go for a beer right now, but I don’t even drink beer.
- I love this sport!
- Do I have cankles? Am I the only one still wearing capris? I need to update my wardrobe—nobody looks good in capris, except for that mom over there. She probably does pilates or something.
- Is there a bar nearby?
- How many minutes has my son been on the field? Three? I should get an app to track his playing time. Wait, apps are overrated. Mmm… appetizers sound good right now—like buffalo chicken dip.
- Was that a raindrop? Please let that be rain.
- Wow, that guy is really loud. Oh wait, that’s my husband. Not a jerk, just a little too enthusiastic. I must be exhausted.
- Is that a bee? I can’t get out of my chair! IS THAT A BEE?!
- It’s too chilly for spring. I really wish I had a blanket. I need to do laundry—empty the dishwasher, clean out closets, sort through that pile of papers. We should definitely move.
- Is that my son out there? What’s his number again? Why is that other kid always playing? Ah, the coach’s son. He’s not great, but he just scored. Ball hog!
- Wow, I totally missed a spot while shaving. Uh-oh, is that mom coming over to talk to me? What’s her name? Think, think… just look straight ahead.
- I like her hair. I despise mine. Did I really just feel raindrops?
- What’s for dinner? I absolutely dislike cooking. Do we even need to eat dinner?
- I need to use the bathroom, but do I really want to trek all the way there? Those restrooms are always disgusting, and why are there always spiders? I can hold it. I’m practically stuck in this chair anyway.
- I can’t believe I forgot my fleece again. Go team!
- Am I being too loud? I feel like I just channeled Rosie O’Donnell.
- Is there a bar nearby? What’s my son’s number again?
- Did we have pizza too many times this week? Pizza isn’t so bad. It’s healthier than fried chicken, right?
- Did my child just score? Oops, I missed it. I’ll just tell him I saw it when I really didn’t. Great job, buddy! Wait, don’t say “buddy.”
- What inning is it? What quarter? Is that rain I feel? I hope it is rain.
- Did we seriously drive two hours to play this team? I hate this sport.
- I could go for a bite of that guy’s pretzel. Oops, he’s looking at me. Did I say that out loud?
- What’s the score? I like her sunglasses. They make her look like a celebrity.
- Is that rain? That was definitely out of bounds. What’s the score?
- That mom seems nice… but she’s a screamer. Is this game almost done?
- Where did I park? Where’s my other child? Where are you, when I need you? Great, now I have that Justin Bieber song stuck in my head.
- I could really go for some shrimp and linguine. Wow, that was random.
- Did I even bring my other child? Where are you now? Get out of my head, Justin.
- Is that thunder I hear? I should take some pictures. Oh, my memory is full. Delete, delete, delete… oh, that’s cute! Delete, delete.
- What’s the score? Overtime? Oh no, please no.
- I really need to pee. Was that rain? Please let that be rain.
Further Reading
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In summary, being a sports mom is a mix of joy, chaos, and a whole lot of mind wandering. Between the games, the thoughts of what’s for dinner, and the occasional rain dance, it’s a whirlwind of experiences that keeps life interesting.