When it comes to my birthing experiences, my second and third deliveries were as close to perfect as I could hope for, despite the fact that I ended up with a C-section instead of the natural birth I envisioned. My OBGYN consistently exceeded my expectations, earning my heartfelt gratitude for his skill and support. However, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not just the doctor who shapes your birthing journey—it’s the labor and delivery nurses who really make a difference.
The exceptional nurses hold a special place in my memories, while the less-than-stellar ones have left me with lasting disappointment. I fondly remember Jenna, who comforted me during my spinal tap and joyfully handed my daughter to my partner, exclaiming, “She’s beautiful!” Then there was Lisa, who took the time to crochet a darling hat for my newborn and created a scrapbook page for our family. And I can’t forget the wonderful night shift nurses (forgive me for forgetting your names!) who never made me feel bad about the mess I made of their pristine white shoes. Lastly, there was Sarah, whose playful banter lightened the mood and kept me laughing even during the toughest moments.
These nurses made my hospital stay memorable, and I will never forget the kindness they showed me during such a vulnerable time. But every positive experience often has its counterpoint.
Let’s refer to my unfortunate nurse as Janet. She lacked the reassurance I needed during my spinal tap and offered no comfort during my C-section. My twins arrived at 35 weeks, with my son coming out first, seemingly healthy, while my daughter was whisked away to the NICU due to a low Apgar score from inhaling amniotic fluid. As my son and I began skin-to-skin contact post-op, he started to shiver uncontrollably, even under a heated blanket. My instincts kicked in, and I asked Janet if this was normal, but she barely glanced at him before returning to her computer. Trusting my gut, I insisted that the neonatal doctor be summoned back to check on him.
When the specialist arrived, my son’s oxygen levels were alarmingly low, and he too was taken to the NICU. As if that wasn’t enough, the pain from my C-section was intensifying as the effects of my spinal tap began to fade. I naively asked Janet if my discomfort was normal for a multiple delivery, but she snapped, “No. I’ve had three C-sections. You’re supposed to be in pain.” Seriously? Did I ask about your experiences? Nope!
I wish I could say that I stood my ground and demanded a different nurse, advocating for myself as I should have. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that was even an option. The thought of requesting a new nurse crossed my mind, but I worried about how a new staff member might treat me after hearing my previous nurse’s attitude.
When it was time to try standing and walking to the bathroom, I reluctantly agreed despite the pain. As I prepared to rise, she grabbed my hand, treating me as though I were royalty rather than a patient in dire need of assistance. “You got me?” I asked. “Yep,” she replied. And then—CRASH! Down I went, landing hard on the floor.
She was supposed to be responsible for my care during her shift, but she failed on multiple fronts. She didn’t comfort me, didn’t ensure my son was monitored, and didn’t even report my fall, which could have resulted in serious injury. I received no support—neither physical, mental, nor emotional. Instead, I was left feeling ashamed and dismissed.
I should have been stronger. I should have insisted on a new labor and delivery nurse. But the truth is, I was unaware that this was an option. Now, I understand better, and I hope you do too. While C-sections and vaginal deliveries are routine, they still carry risks, and you and your newborn deserve the highest level of care. If you’re unhappy with your labor and delivery nurse, don’t hesitate to ask for a different one. Speak up to your OB/GYN, the charge nurse, or whoever it takes. Make your voice heard. Say goodbye to the Janets of the maternity ward and seek out a caring nurse like Jenna, Lisa, or Sarah.
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Summary: This article reflects on the importance of having a supportive labor and delivery nurse during childbirth, sharing both positive and negative experiences. It emphasizes the need for expecting mothers to advocate for themselves and seek better care if they feel uncomfortable with their nursing staff.