In the beginning, relationships can feel quite straightforward — at least they did for us. Ours was a long-distance journey for several years, filled with shared laughter over learning to drive (yes, we were late bloomers) and navigating our first jobs. Even though we were financially strapped, intimacy and romance were never an issue.
However, after welcoming kids into our lives a few years later, things shifted. Many couples echo similar sentiments about their once-passionate pre-kid love lives fading away as their families expand. If you aren’t mindful, you might find that those intimate moments slip away entirely.
The reality is that while children are the result of passion, they can also diminish the spark. But here’s the bright side: the absence of child-free moments led me to see my partner in a different light. After being married for five years, our standards for what we find appealing have changed. Here are some everyday acts that have suddenly become incredibly attractive after having kids:
Cooking Dinner and Feeding the Kids
Is there anything more delightful than returning home to a warm meal after a long day? Absolutely! There’s nothing quite like having a partner who takes charge of the kids’ dinner when you’ve been at home all day. It’s enough to make me feel all tingly inside.
A Sincere Apology
Many of us find ourselves paired with stubborn partners. I’m definitely one of those individuals. We are both headstrong and rarely back down from disagreements. But when my spouse openly admits a mistake or misjudgment, it sends a thrill through me. Maturity is genuinely attractive.
Planning Date Nights
It’s common to hear complaints that one partner usually takes on the responsibility of planning dates. I won’t name names, but in my case, it’s not me. When my husband takes the initiative to organize outings for us, it reaffirms his appreciation for me, even after all these years. That thought alone can ignite some passion later on.
Encouraging Time for Myself
I feel so appreciated when my husband acknowledges the challenges of mom life and suggests I take a break to enjoy time with friends. His support in maintaining a social life makes me feel valued and loved.
Checking In on My Day
Some days, being home with the kids can feel overwhelming. There are times when I think my husband doesn’t realize how tough it can be to juggle everything. Recently, though, he’s made a conscious effort to ask how my day has been. While the kids can still drive me up the wall, knowing he cares eases my stress.
Engaging with the Kids
I handle most of the daily child care, and even when Dad comes home, the kids still expect my attention. On days when he comes home exhausted but still makes an effort to play with them, it fills me with pride for choosing him as my partner.
Massages
Do I even need to elaborate on this? Who wouldn’t appreciate a good, consensual massage?
Initiating Relationship Check-Ins
I often reflect on our relationship, leading to many questions and discussions. But when my husband takes the lead to check in and maintain our connection, it makes me feel amazing and definitely sparks some excitement.
Capturing Candid Family Moments
I sometimes forget how much I want to be included in family photos. But when he captures spontaneous moments of me with the kids, it brings a smile to my face.
Commitment for the Long Haul
One of the most attractive aspects of our relationship is the reassurance that he’s in this for the long run. Marrying and having kids young brings its share of challenges. Yet, his daily commitment to our family deepens my love for him.
As peculiar as it may sound, discovering new ways to find attraction in non-sexual moments has opened up a world of unexpected aphrodisiacs. Who says romance fades when you have kids? You just need to adapt and be attentive to the subtle signs.
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In conclusion, while parenthood can challenge intimacy, it can also breathe new life into your relationship in unexpected ways. So, embrace the journey and find the joy in the everyday moments that bring you closer together.