To all who find themselves motherless on this poignant day, you share a unique understanding of the bittersweet nature of this celebration—a day that often amplifies the absence of the one you long for the most.
As the approach of Mother’s Day draws near, the atmosphere becomes saturated with the familiar chatter of celebration. Heartfelt advertisements flood our screens, showcasing daughters of all ages gifting cards to their mothers, sharing heartfelt embraces, wiping away tears, and enjoying brunch together. The mere thought of this day fills me with dread.
This marks my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom, and each year brings the painful exposure to a barrage of Mother’s Day tributes and the seemingly endless social media discussions. Once, this day was my favorite, a cherished opportunity to honor my best friend. The joy of presenting her with tokens of my love was immense. But now, walking past the greeting card aisle leaves me feeling nauseous.
For those who are motherless, the struggle to embrace motherhood while coping with the absence of your own mother is a profound challenge. The internal conflict of being a mom myself, yet forever feeling like the “child” without my own mother by my side, is something I grapple with daily. While I sometimes wish I could simply hide away until the day passes, I am reminded that I have three little ones who need their mom. They may not fully grasp my feelings now, but I am determined to ensure they never feel that I’ve withheld anything from their experience of having a mother. This day serves as a reminder to teach them about love, strength, and the incredible joy they bring to my life. They are the light that pulls me from my sorrow, and I cherish every moment of being called their mommy.
To those who are motherless, it’s okay to block out the noise. The jealousy that arises from witnessing others’ joy and love for their mothers can be overwhelming. In a world where we share every detail of our lives, seeing photos of mothers and daughters, filled with love and gratitude, can feel like a sting. I genuinely celebrate others’ happiness, but the reality of not having that experience for myself can be almost unbearable.
It’s vital to allow yourself to remember her. I often find it difficult to articulate my grief, fearing that once I start, I might never stop. Instead, I retreat, becoming adept at hiding my feelings. Yet, the truth is, not a moment goes by without thinking of her, and the anger of lost time weighs heavily on my heart. My resolution is to share more stories about her, allowing my children to know her through my memories, and to come out of hiding. Even though I am technically without a mother—an unbelievable statement—I can still honor her on Mother’s Day and every other day of the year.
Let’s celebrate our children. I believe my mom is always with me, and our bond was truly special. I hope my children feel the same way about me as I do about her. Her greatest joy was not just in being celebrated but in spending time with us. She’s watching over us now, living on through my children. It’s my role to ensure this day is meaningful for them, honoring both the lessons she imparted and the love we shared.
For anyone navigating this challenging day, remember that like any other difficult moment without her, this too shall pass. I haven’t reached a point where it becomes easier, and I won’t pretend it’s simple. But I know that monumental days like this come and go. I remind myself that I have a healthy family, a wonderful partner, and the most amazing children. My mom remains in my heart forever. Happy Mother’s Day to my beloved mom, whom I will cherish always.
In conclusion, it’s essential to embrace your feelings and memories, both joyful and sorrowful, as you navigate this day. Celebrate your children and honor the legacy of your mother in the process.