People often ask, “Is this your second child?”
I reply, “No, it’s my fourth.”
The response is usually a mix of surprise and confusion: “Oh, wow. Uh…”
I chuckle and say, “Don’t worry, my condition isn’t contagious!”
Carrying baby number four has certainly led to some amusing, awkward, and downright funny questions and comments from strangers. Here’s a glimpse of what I’ve encountered:
- “Was this baby planned?”
- “How old are your other kids?”
- “Are you a stay-at-home mom?”
- “What does your husband do for work?”
- “Is this your last child?”
- “Wow, college is going to be a blast!”
If we had three boys or three girls, I can only imagine the first question would be:
- “You must be hoping for a girl!”
- “Your husband must be itching for a son!”
Let me address some of those questions that people have had the courage to ask—and that some of you might be curious about:
Was this baby planned?
Yes, indeed! My husband dreams of having eight kids, but we’ve decided on four.
How old are your other children?
They are 7, 5, and 3 years old.
Do you stay home with them?
Absolutely! I run my own social media business and write from home, and I enjoy every minute of it.
What does your husband do?
Haha, I’ll let him handle that question! And no, he isn’t a doctor or involved in anything illegal.
Is this your last child?
Yes, for sure! Given everything my body has been through over the past six years, I feel too old for this adventure.
Wow, college will be quite the expense!
Hey, it’s never too early to start thinking about scholarships, right?
I’ll admit that having four children isn’t the norm these days. In fact, I can’t think of anyone else in our neighborhood with four kids; two or three seems to be the sweet spot.
On our evening walks to the park, I often notice people glancing at my belly and then counting our kids. Most just smile and move on, while others stop to chat. The same thing happens at places like the grocery store or local restaurants. Yes, four can raise eyebrows and prompt questions.
But I’ve been on the other side too! Just the other night, my husband and I were sitting on a bench while our kids played. We spotted a large van parked nearby. My husband comes from a family of seven, which elicits a range of reactions.
He commented that the van resembled the one his family used when he was growing up. Our conversation shifted until we noticed a couple standing by a double stroller surrounded by a flurry of children. We quickly counted six girls—maybe even seven! The one in the stroller was covered so we couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl.
I thought to myself, “That’s a lot of girls! Poor dad! Can you imagine the wedding expenses? I wonder if they kept trying for a boy?” I also speculated about the mom, who looked like she could be pregnant again. I mused if she was a stay-at-home mom and if they homeschooled. Their van looked nice—what could their grocery bill possibly be? I wanted to talk to her, ask questions, but I figured that might come off as intrusive. Instead, I just smiled and watched.
Guilty as charged!
At just 20 weeks pregnant with my fourth, I’m bracing myself for the inevitable stares and comments ahead. Honestly, I find it amusing and try to keep a light-hearted perspective. When I reassure other mothers that my condition isn’t contagious, I mean it!
As I’ve shared before, I grew up as an only child and often faced comments like:
- “You must be so spoiled!”
- “Why didn’t your parents have more kids?”
- “Who do you play with?”
- “I bet your family is rich!”
- “Do you travel by plane? We have to drive!”
- “Do you eat out a lot? I’m so jealous!”
I never enjoyed being an only child, and I can only imagine the comments my parents faced.
So, whether you’re a mother of one or seven girls, embrace your unique journey! Each child is a blessing. There are moments in my day when I think, “How can I love one more child?” or “Will I ever regain my body after this?” But I know the moment this last baby arrives, I will be overwhelmed with joy and a tinge of sadness that this is the final chapter of my pregnancy journey.
This article was originally published on May 13, 2023.
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Summary
This article humorously explores the reactions and questions faced when expecting a fourth child, highlighting the societal norms around family size and the curiosity that arises from it. The author shares personal insights about family dynamics, the joys, and challenges of parenting multiple children, and reflects on her journey as a soon-to-be mother of four.