As a parent, I’ve been met with some curious reactions about my choice to abstain from alcohol. Some have jokingly inquired if I’m living like a monk, while others have given me that dubious look, as if my decision is as absurd as trying to breathe underwater. But the most frustrating part of not drinking is feeling excluded from social gatherings.
Here’s the scoop: I don’t drink. It’s not that I’ve never tried; I did partake in drinking during my high school years and a little in my twenties. However, I never found much enjoyment in it, even though I understand why many do. On particularly hectic days with my kids, I occasionally think a drink could help ease the chaos.
My reasons for abstaining are personal and significant. First and foremost is my faith; I practice a religion that discourages alcohol. I embraced this belief in my mid-twenties, but my decision to stop drinking predates that. My father struggled with addiction, and his battle with alcohol and painkillers ultimately led to his untimely death when I was just 19. Watching him succumb to substance abuse left a profound impact on me, and I can’t help but associate drinking with those painful memories. After his passing, I decided to set the bottle aside for good.
While my reasons are valid to me, many people fail to see why someone would choose not to drink. When I politely decline an offer for a drink or a mixed beverage, it’s not a judgment against anyone else. It shouldn’t be a reason to exclude me or my family from the fun. We can still enjoy a meal together and engage in meaningful conversations, all while being sober.
Let’s get one thing straight: our friendship doesn’t hinge on my drinking habits. I won’t judge you for enjoying a drink, nor am I here to convince you to stop. I’m just an ordinary parent juggling responsibilities, with a good sense of humor and a love for deep conversations. I’m always willing to drive you around, and I’ll find your jokes funny—sober or not—as long as they’re entertaining. If you happen to be a little too tipsy, I might just choose to sit elsewhere—nothing personal.
Recently, I attended a conference where many participants began drinking in the afternoon. I must have turned down a thousand drink offers, each met with puzzled looks. But once they realized I wasn’t there to spoil their fun, we shared a great time filled with laughter and camaraderie. I found myself wanting to shout, “Look! I can be just as fun!”
Losing friends because of my choice to abstain is disheartening. There’s no reason for it. If you have a friend who doesn’t drink, remember that they’ve made a personal choice. Respect it. They’re not weird or untrustworthy. They don’t need to be coaxed into drinking, assuming that it will change their outlook. They know how to enjoy life without it.
So, invite that sober friend out. Treat them like any other friend. Avoid making comments or offering drinks repeatedly. Just accept their choice and move on. Their reasons are valid, and once you understand that, you can cultivate a stronger friendship.
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In summary, choosing not to drink shouldn’t lead to exclusion from social circles. It’s a personal decision that deserves respect, and friendships can thrive without the need for alcohol. Let’s enjoy each other’s company without the pressure of drinking.