People often express how fortunate my transgender child is to have me as a parent, praising my efforts to create safe spaces for them. While I appreciate the recognition of my advocacy, it highlights the unfortunate reality for many LGBTQIA+ youth who don’t have supportive families.
A staggering 40% of homeless youth in the U.S. identify as LGBTQ, often due to rejection from their parents. Many kids are not just running away; they are being forcibly kicked out or facing intolerable conditions at home. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that about 20,000 LGBTQ adolescents are subjected to conversion therapy before turning 18, a painful consequence of their identity not conforming to societal norms. Unconditional love shouldn’t be a matter of chance.
Conversely, heartfelt videos and stories circulate widely when a parent accepts their queer child, often drawing tears from viewers. While it’s wonderful to see kids receiving the love and support they rightfully deserve, the virality of these moments underscores the long journey ahead. Celebrating these ordinary acts of parental love reveals how infrequent they are for LGBTQIA+ youth.
These uplifting videos can provide hope, but they also reflect a harsh truth: parental acceptance should be the norm, not an exception. The reality is that basic parenting shouldn’t require accolades. Parenting is challenging regardless of a child’s identity, and loving them shouldn’t be more difficult simply because they are gay, bisexual, or transgender.
Having navigated my own journey of queer identity—facing rejection when I came out as gay during college and struggling with acceptance as I identified as nonbinary—I understand the burden of societal expectations. When you reveal your true self and someone recoils or chooses their comfort over your right to authenticity, it’s dehumanizing.
As a parent of a transgender child, I resonate deeply with the fears and pains that come with this role. To all parents or guardians of LGBTQIA+, questioning, or gender nonconforming children: it’s time to prioritize your child’s emotional safety over your discomfort.
Before your child even comes out, express your unconditional love clearly. When they do come out, reaffirm that love and ask how you can support them. There’s no room for hesitation or conditions. If you need to process your feelings about your child’s identity, do so privately—resources like PFLAG and insightful websites like this one can help you navigate your feelings without placing that burden on your child. It’s crucial that your child never feels less than whole or loved because of who they are.
I love my transgender child unconditionally, as any parent should. There’s no need for congratulations, just a recognition that all kids, regardless of their identity, deserve an equal measure of love and support.
This article serves as a reminder that being a caring parent is not extraordinary; it is expected. My child’s identity is just one aspect of who they are, much like their hair color or hobbies. My hopes for them are simple: to grow up kind and considerate. Love should be universal, not a privilege.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting or conception methods, check out this blog post. And for additional information on assisted reproductive technologies, the CDC’s resource is an excellent place to start.
Summary:
This article emphasizes that parents should not be praised for simply loving their LGBTQIA+ children, as unconditional love should be expected. It highlights the harsh realities faced by many LGBTQIA+ youth who lack supportive families and encourages parents to prioritize their child’s emotional well-being without seeking accolades for loving them.