During my teenage years, I lived with my grandmother, who was not fond of my girlfriend. At 16, she allowed me to see her only once a week and often monitored my phone calls. I could hear my grandmother listening in from her room, so I took matters into my own hands. I drilled a hole in my closet and set up a secret phone line to chat with my girlfriend in private. It was my version of a ‘Finsta’—a term used to describe fake social media accounts that teens create to keep their online lives hidden from their parents.
While teens have likely been creating secret accounts since the dawn of social media, a new trend has emerged: parents are now crafting fake profiles to keep an eye on their children. This feels like a spy thriller where identities are concealed, and everyone is watching everyone else. Recently, former baseball star Jake Thompson revealed in an interview that he maintains a “burner” Instagram account to monitor his daughters, as they refuse to let him follow them. His admission raises a pertinent question: how many parents are engaging in similar behavior?
It’s challenging to gauge the prevalence of this practice. Personally, I don’t monitor my child this way, but my oldest is just 12, and we haven’t allowed him to join social media yet—or at least that’s what we’ve told him. He might have a hidden Finsta, but he generally seems honest.
I posed the question on my blog’s Facebook page and received a multitude of responses. Many parents expressed their commitment to respecting their children’s privacy, while others were intrigued by the idea of secret accounts. Some indicated they would only resort to this if they suspected their child was in danger. Interestingly, one mother shared her perspective: “Yes. Because I remember being a teen and making decisions I now wish my parents had intervened in. Our job isn’t always about making our kids happy; sometimes, we have to upset them for their own good.”
Overall, many parents seem hesitant to create fake accounts. Instead, they often check their child’s phone directly, with some doing so routinely. They enforce strict rules about social media, such as requiring passwords and insisting on private settings for accounts like Instagram and Twitter. The underlying reason for these precautions remains consistent: to ensure their children’s safety.
In this ever-evolving digital landscape, trust plays a crucial role. The goal is for parents and children to maintain a healthy relationship built on mutual trust. If that trust erodes, it can lead to misunderstandings and strained family dynamics. So, if you consider monitoring your child’s online activity through a secret account, proceed with caution.
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Summary
Parents are increasingly monitoring their children’s online activities by creating fake social media accounts, mirroring the secretive tactics teens have long employed. While some parents feel justified in this approach to safeguard their children, others prefer to respect their privacy. Ultimately, maintaining trust is essential for healthy family relationships in today’s digital world.
