Parenting
By: Amanda Lane
Updated: Sep. 24, 2019
Originally Published: Sep. 20, 2019
This morning, I completely lost my cool with my teenager. I mean, I really let it all out—screaming, banging my fists on the table, and crying.
We were already having a tough morning, and his slow, grouchy demeanor was frustrating me. I found myself repeating the same things over and over, and all I wanted was for the morning to unfold smoothly for once. But deeper than that, my once generous-hearted son had been showing signs of entitlement lately, and it was driving me up the wall.
He works diligently at school, completes his homework, practices his guitar, and takes care of his chores. After all that, he enjoys unwinding with interactive video games online with friends. I don’t mind that, as long as he balances it with some reading or a little basketball outside now and then.
However, last night was a different story. We attended my daughter’s open house, and he was dragged along since I didn’t have time to drop him off at home. He grumbled all evening, even ignoring the snack I had brought for him. He did manage to work on homework to avoid doing it later, but his attitude was unbearable. The same thing happened at the previous open house too. Despite having time for video games, he was still discontent.
This morning, I approached him to let him know about a doctor’s appointment scheduled for later in the day, which required me to pick him up early from school. His response was the same twisted face, slouched shoulders, and moaning that had become all too familiar. I attempted to explain that this was the only time available for the appointment, but he interrupted me, yelling that he never gets to do what he wants and has no free time. He didn’t even let me finish explaining that he wouldn’t miss out on any home time since I was picking him up early.
That interruption was the last straw. I completely snapped. It was as if I entered a parallel universe where all the bottled-up frustration poured out in a perfect, albeit emotional, storm. I reminded him that the errands he viewed as inconveniences were not exactly a walk in the park for me either. Every hour spent driving him and his sister to activities, appointments, and friend meetups was an hour I couldn’t work, and I was trying my best to help them succeed.
I went on to explain that this doctor’s visit was actually a reschedule because of hurricane Dorian, which had already caused me to miss several days of work and incur extra costs. The appointment was crucial to ensure he received his ADHD medications, enabling him to perform well at school.
“I’m so sorry,” I yelled, “that I didn’t have time to drive the extra 30 minutes home between carpool and open house so you could play your freaking video games!” I turned into a guilt-filled banshee. The last thing I shouted before storming out was, “I AM JUST ONE PERSON TRYING MY BEST TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.”
Childish? Perhaps. Over-the-top? Definitely. But letting it all out was oddly cathartic, especially since it was all true, and my son seemed completely unaware. I worried I might be placing too much adult stress on his shoulders. He didn’t need to know that my days felt too short and my to-do list too long. Or did he?
A few moments later, as I sat on my bed taking deep breaths, my son walked in looking downcast. “Mom, you’re right. I didn’t realize before, and I was being really selfish. You work so hard for us. I get it now, and I’m truly sorry.” We embraced tightly.
It wasn’t my finest hour as a parent, but it broke through his inability to see beyond his own needs. It felt validating to hear him acknowledge his behavior. He needs to understand the effort I put into keeping our lives on track. Yes, what I do for my kids is part of parenting, but that doesn’t mean they should take it for granted.
In the end, I’m actually grateful for losing my temper. It wasn’t a shining moment of motherhood, but it allowed my son to develop empathy and recognize that his complaints, while valid to him, could be hurtful to me. Because, honestly, I’m doing the best I can.
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Summary:
This morning, I lost my temper with my teenager after a series of frustrating interactions. My son’s entitlement had reached a peak, and a simple doctor appointment became the final straw. I let my emotions spill over, reminding him of the sacrifices I make for our family’s well-being. Thankfully, after a heartfelt discussion, he acknowledged his selfishness, and we shared a moment of understanding. This experience, though chaotic, helped him develop empathy for the efforts I put into our daily lives.