When we think about life’s greatest challenges, we often mention jobs, relationships, relocations, and raising children. However, I’d like to propose adding school to that list. The transition into education, especially in the early years, feels as enticing as sipping a pumpkin spice latte in the summer—appealing in theory, yet requiring a lot of effort to achieve.
As my son, Ben, prepared to enter kindergarten, I approached the situation much like one would face a looming tidal wave: awed by its beauty yet fearful of its potential upheaval. Ben has a physical disability that affects his mobility and speech, which made me anxious that he might be misunderstood or overlooked by peers and teachers simply because he couldn’t communicate like everyone else.
In the lead-up to the school year, I turned to baking as my outlet—a way to bond with Ben. Together we created countless cupcakes, cookies, and even bread, sharing moments of connection as we stirred, frosted, and tasted our creations. Baking became our shared language, transcending the need for words.
When kindergarten finally began, Ben surprised me with how well he adapted. He began utilizing his speech device more frequently and greeted his classmates enthusiastically as he navigated the hallways. However, the days were long, and he returned home utterly drained. On one of those first afternoons, I found him asleep, face down in his snack, with bits of fruit clinging to his chin. A few weeks in, when I suggested we bake brownies, he broke down in tears.
Kneeling beside him, I hugged him while tears streamed down my own face—we seemed to share a connection deeper than words. “Don’t you want to make brownies?” I asked, using our own form of communication with my hands to offer him a choice. He tapped the right hand, signaling “no.”
“Would you prefer to make something else?” I inquired, receiving the same response. After a moment of contemplation, I suggested, “How about a trip to the grocery store, just the two of us?” His enthusiastic response was a decisive hit on my left hand.
As we strolled through the baking aisle, I anticipated he’d point out ingredients he liked for our next creation. Yet, he had his sights set elsewhere—toward the bakery section.
When we reached the display, he eagerly pointed to the free cookies. He selected one adorned with sprinkles and devoured it with joy. As we wandered the store, I shared stories about his day and the positive feedback from his aide, and he signed for “more” when we passed the bakery again. Naturally, we grabbed a few cookies—one for each of us, because it feels wrong to let someone snack alone.
As I nibbled on the slightly stale cookie, I pondered what made this outing so special for him compared to our baking sessions at home. Home was often chaotic, filled with the noise of his siblings and our dog. After a busy day at school, Ben sought a peaceful moment, shared only with me. In the end, it wasn’t about the cookies; it was the time we spent together that truly mattered.
Fast forward a year, and we’re back to our school routine, already resuming our evening grocery excursions. I no longer bother with a basket; instead, I push Ben in his wheelchair straight to the bakery, where staff members greet us with cookies wrapped in tissue paper. We stroll, chat, and savor the simplicity of having nowhere to rush off to.
As Julia Child beautifully said, “Dining with one’s friends and beloved family is certainly one of life’s primal and most innocent delights.” I wholeheartedly agree, and I believe she’d understand my choice of grocery store cookies as a substitute for more elaborate meals. The moments we share hold just as much value as the food we enjoy.
Emily Thompson is a mother and the author of the middle-grade novel, A Taste of Home, which features a young protagonist who dreams of becoming a world-renowned chef despite facing challenges.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the profound bond between a mother and her son as they navigate the challenges of kindergarten. Through baking, grocery store outings, and shared experiences, they discover that the time spent together is far more meaningful than the treats they enjoy.