The day I met my closest friend felt like any other day. I can’t pinpoint what initially drew me to her, but sitting across from her at that café, I was curious to learn more about this intriguing woman. We shared at least one common bond—our presence at a support group for foster and adoptive mothers. As our friendship blossomed, it became clear that we had much more in common: we were both type A personalities, fiercely determined, and well-versed in our passions. We each manage large, multiracial families, including children with special needs.
Nearly ten years have passed since that first encounter, filled with endless conversations over tacos, margaritas, and birthday cake for our kids. In the hectic moments of life, we resorted to texting, often with our children bickering in the background while we tackled our latest challenges side by side.
What Does True Friendship Look Like?
What does true friendship look like? How does it endure through the years? Relationships can be complex, and cultivating genuine friendships that truly support one another is no easy feat. Many of us lack the supportive communities that our parents enjoyed, which can be isolating and disheartening. Thus, when we discover someone we believe to be a kindred spirit, we hold on tightly. If we’re fortunate, we may find several such individuals to cherish.
As I grow older, my circle of true friends has become smaller—not due to a dislike of people, but because few can be trusted with our vulnerabilities. I’ve learned to refrain from investing my time and energy into relationships marked by pettiness, selfishness, or drama. Yes, I’m quite selective about my friendships, and I embrace that aspect of myself.
Support Through Life’s Challenges
My best friend is the first person I reach out to when life throws a curveball. Whether it was the moment I learned that a lump in my breast was not a cyst but breast cancer, or when she faced the decision of adopting a newborn boy with Apert syndrome, we have supported each other without judgment. We allow one another to feel our emotions fully, acknowledging that there are no right or wrong feelings during life-altering moments. There’s no negativity; we simply listen and uplift each other.
However, honesty is part of the equation. Close friends often know what steps we should take, sometimes even before we do. They provide the space we need to reach our conclusions. If we stumble in our choices, rather than criticize us, they help us up and remind us of our path forward—often with a bottle of wine or some chocolate.
The Importance of Communication
In genuine friendships, communication is vital. While unsolicited advice is welcome, it’s given with care and understanding. Each conversation is a sacred exchange, leaving both participants enriched. With a true friend, there is no need for apologies or explanations; we simply exist together, supporting one another through thick and thin.
The best friendships involve mutual give-and-take, but it’s not always a perfect 50/50 balance. During challenging times, the scales may tip—like when I spent two months recovering from a mastectomy. I felt lost and broken, unsure of my identity or direction. My best friend stepped in with texts, calls, thoughtful gifts, meals for my family, and visits. In my vulnerable state, I didn’t need to pretend; I could simply be myself, and that was more than enough for her.
Recognizing Each Other’s Value
The strength of our friendship lies in the fact that we aren’t trying to replace one another’s roles in life. We are not each other’s therapists or mothers; we are friends, and we stay within that realm. I’ve made mistakes in the past, including friendships with women who did not understand my multiracial family or those who vanished when I needed support most. As I matured, I learned to distance myself from those relationships—not with drama but quietly, recognizing my worth and the importance of nurturing connections that enrich my life.
Real friends appreciate each other’s value, recognizing strengths and weaknesses, and don’t expect constant equality. They endure through life’s challenges, maintaining their friendship foundation regardless of circumstances, trusting each other’s judgment without judgment.
The Pursuit of True Friendships
It may seem like a tall order, but I believe it’s worth pursuing. After all, I deserve it, and so do you. For more insights into your journey, you can explore this resource and find additional resources at this link. Check out this blog for more valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, true friendships are rare and precious. They require effort, understanding, and a commitment to mutual respect. As we navigate life, it’s essential to cultivate relationships that uplift us, allowing us to thrive.