Many of us know adults grappling with bipolar disorder or addiction, and the sense of helplessness that surrounds these situations can be overwhelming. Witnessing a loved one suffer while feeling powerless to assist can lead to prolonged distress.
As someone with a family history of depression and a mother to three, I often ponder how these issues might affect my children. Would they face similar struggles? How would I support them?
One woman, Lisa Reynolds, openly shares her experience of supporting her son, Jason, who battles bipolar disorder and addiction. Following Jason’s arrest for drug-related charges, Lisa realized she was on this journey alongside him. A pivotal conversation with a social worker named Sarah shifted their outlook on the situation:
“I noticed Sarah’s expertise as a social worker shining through. She listened to both of us with empathy and then interjected, ‘That’s all behind you, Jason. We’re in a vehicle moving forward; we can’t just keep staring in the rear-view mirror—yes, a glance now and then is fine, but we must focus ahead to steer this vehicle.’ She emphasized new choices and possibilities—not in an overwhelming way, but practically with small, daily steps. This was a message Jason needed to hear, and not from me.” — Reflections on a Journey
When we become mothers, our protective instincts become ingrained, and we would go to great lengths for our children’s well-being, regardless of their struggles. However, as they grow and face more serious challenges, discussing their choices becomes increasingly complex. Feelings of embarrassment and isolation can surface, making it difficult to seek support while also wanting to respect our child’s privacy.
Despite these challenges, Lisa chose to share her story, believing it could aid other parents navigating similar experiences with bipolar disorder, which affects nearly 3% of the population. In a conversation with Home Insemination Kit, Lisa advised parents to avoid retreating into isolation, which is often a natural response.
She encourages finding a trusted friend or family member to confide in. “You need to express your feelings while also receiving feedback to ensure your reactions are reasonable and not part of the overwhelming chaos threatening to take over your life,” she explains. Additionally, seeking support groups and personal therapy can be invaluable in managing emotions related to the situation. Lisa discovered a supportive community through NAMI, where other parents helped her gain perspective by sharing their own challenges.
Prioritizing self-care has also been crucial for Lisa. She emphasizes the importance of regular exercise, enjoying nature, and engaging in activities she loves, like reading. “I highly recommend laughter as a daily medicine, along with some dark chocolate,” she adds. Writing about her experiences has served as a cathartic outlet and strengthened her friendships.
It’s essential for all parents supporting their children—regardless of the severity of the situation—to prioritize their own mental health. Lisa’s journey exemplifies the necessity of self-care, even when it feels impossible.
In her relationship with Jason, Lisa focuses on listening rather than trying to rescue him, consistently offering emotional support. One of the hardest lessons for her has been recognizing the need to allow him to grow and navigate his own life. “I can’t create his well-being for him. I often mistakenly believe that my son’s struggles are my own to fight,” she reflects. Over time, Lisa has learned that this mindset doesn’t benefit Jason and emphasizes that this isn’t about distancing herself from her child. “I love my son,” she states, “but I must set boundaries for my own protection.”
For parents facing similar challenges, Lisa’s book can offer valuable insights. She encourages them to “be strong, be courageous, and trust that your child will have the opportunities they need to grow strong and brave in their own way.”
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In summary, Lisa Reynolds’ story serves as a poignant reminder that while supporting a child through addiction and mental health issues can be daunting, prioritizing self-care and seeking support is crucial for both the parent and child’s well-being.