Back when I envisioned myself as the ultimate parent — before kids entered my life — I believed that making straight A’s was simply about completing assignments and submitting them. Ah, how naive I was! Becoming a parent has a unique way of humbling you, doesn’t it?
My son, Ethan, has always been a bit different, even as a toddler. From the start, he was more energetic, frequently switching from one activity to another, and often needing extra help to wind down at bedtime. His preschool teachers would send home notes about his difficulties settling during nap time and focusing during story time. He received his first disciplinary note in kindergarten just two days into the school year.
Ethan’s academic performance has been a challenge. While he comprehended the material well and could excel on tests if given enough time and redirection, the conventional classroom environment wasn’t conducive to his needs. He was constantly distracted and while we managed to complete his homework, he often forgot to submit it, along with classwork.
As you may have guessed, Ethan has ADHD. He was diagnosed in third grade and started medication that significantly improved his focus and reduced classroom disruptions. His grades improved slightly, but he still grappled with the label of “the kid who always forgets to turn in his work.” This inconsistency became part of his self-identity.
During the process of managing his ADHD and establishing a 504 plan in elementary school, a wonderful group of kids welcomed Ethan into their circle. In another era, they might have been labeled as nerds or geeks. They openly express their ambitions to achieve high grades and win awards at science fairs. They share a passion for books, graphic novels, and coding, and many are even writing their own stories. Beyond their academic pursuits, they are kind, inclusive, and support one another, celebrating their quirks and individuality.
While Ethan’s grades lagged behind those of his friends, he thrived in conversations and idea sharing. His friends remained steadfastly by his side, always accepting him without judgment.
When this group of friends reached seventh grade, they each acquired phones, which opened new communication channels via WiFi. They started chatting on Google Hangouts, allowing them to connect after school. This change had a profound impact on Ethan. I noticed that while chatting with his friends, he would suddenly remember to grab his science homework with help from Halle.
I’d often find him working on algebra, engaged in a live video chat where he and his friends collaborated on complex equations, offering help and encouragement while sharing jokes. This camaraderie made homework more enjoyable for them all.
At last year’s science fair, every member of Ethan’s group placed in their categories. Though he procrastinated and faced challenges ordering materials in time, he was inspired by his friends’ dedication and enthusiasm to put together a solid project.
Recently, Ethan received his first all-A interim report card. Yes, he completed the assignments and studied diligently, but I know that the motivation sparked by his friends played a significant role. Hearing their discussions about college and their ambitious dreams encouraged him to aim higher. They inspire him to keep pace with their aspirations.
I’ve always believed in Ethan’s potential, but I sometimes wonder if he would have uncovered the determination required to excel in his midterms without this incredible support system. I am immensely grateful for these remarkable kids and their families who have positively influenced his journey.
As parents, we often worry about our children associating with the “wrong crowd,” but for Ethan, the opposite has proven true. He has found an outstanding group of friends, and I couldn’t be more thankful for their presence in our lives.
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Summary:
This article highlights the positive influence a supportive friend group can have on a teenager’s academic journey, particularly for those facing challenges like ADHD. The author expresses gratitude for the inclusive and encouraging nature of Ethan’s friends, which has motivated him to achieve academic success while fostering a sense of belonging.