We’ve all experienced ghosting—the abrupt withdrawal of someone from our lives, leaving us feeling abandoned and confused. Whether you’ve been on the giving or receiving end, the emotional toll can be heavy. Ghosting can be particularly harsh, affecting even the most confident individuals. Now, there’s a new term that adds to this emotional landscape—soft ghosting, which feels just as disheartening as its more definitive counterpart.
Soft ghosting can be thought of as ghosting-light. It involves a person acknowledging your messages with a simple “like” or a thumbs up without engaging in any meaningful conversation. You find yourself at the end of a texting chain, staring at your phone, uncertain if you should reach out again or leave it be. While it may seem milder than outright ghosting, it still leaves you hanging, questioning what went wrong.
The emotional impact of any form of ghosting is significant. Without closure, you’re left wondering if you made a mistake or if the other person simply lost interest. This kind of communication can be particularly painful in romantic contexts. You might think everything is going well, only to be met with silence or minimal responses that don’t reflect the connection you believed you had.
Chantal, a dating coach, explains that our evolution has primed us to seek pleasure and avoid pain, which often manifests in our digital communication. Nowadays, when starting relationships online, the risk of confrontation is minimized. This can lead to a tendency to ghost or soft ghost, as it’s easier to disengage without dealing with the emotions involved. In dating app culture, if the conversation doesn’t move off the app, it’s almost as if it didn’t happen at all.
Being direct about your feelings can be uncomfortable, especially if you like the person. Many people, myself included, have experienced both ghosting and soft ghosting. It’s frustrating, but many have come to expect it. When you’re conversing with someone and start to lose interest, soft ghosting might seem like an easier way to exit without the awkwardness of a conversation.
For instance, if you’re chatting with someone who seems genuinely interested but you’re no longer feeling the same way, you might choose to respond with a thumbs up instead of explaining your change of heart. This avoidance can feel like a cop-out, but in the moment, it feels easier than confronting the complexities of a letdown.
Soft ghosting can be a way to sidestep emotional discomfort, but it still carries the weight of rejection. While a simple reaction acknowledges your presence, it can feel like a slap in the face when you’re left wondering why they didn’t choose to engage further. It’s almost as if they are saying your feelings don’t warrant a proper response.
In today’s fast-paced world, many find it challenging to engage deeply with each other’s emotions. As Kat pointed out, managing everyone’s feelings can be overwhelming. Even vague communication like soft ghosting can be a definitive response, leaving you to ponder whether the other person is truly busy or simply uninterested.
Investing time in relationships, even early on, implies a commitment to explore potential connections. When someone suddenly retracts their interest, it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster.
Ultimately, many would prefer honesty and direct communication over ambiguous signals that leave you questioning your worth. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s worth remembering that clear conversations lead to closure, allowing everyone to move on more gracefully.
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In summary, both ghosting and soft ghosting can leave individuals feeling rejected and confused. By fostering open communication, we can create healthier connections that allow for mutual understanding and closure.