For reasons I can’t fully grasp, I’ve always had strong gut instincts that rarely lead me astray, along with vivid dreams that often materialize. Simply put, my intuition is strikingly accurate. While I occasionally view this as a gift, it can also feel like an uncontrollable burden.
These gut feelings and prophetic dreams aren’t something I can always harness or manipulate to fit my needs. They don’t consistently appear to guide me or change the course of my life or others. It’s just intuition—pure and simple.
Moments of Clarity
Sure, there are times when it’s undeniably beneficial. For instance, during my teenage years, I had an overwhelming urge to buckle my seatbelt just moments before I was in a severe car accident. As a passenger, we crashed into an SUV traveling at 60 MPH, which ended up rolling over our vehicle. Remarkably, I emerged from that ordeal with only minor injuries. That was a significant blessing.
However, more often than not, I find myself at the mercy of the universe. Occasionally, I sense that something terrible is on the horizon, yet I can’t pinpoint what it might be. Even as a child, many of my “knowing” moments revolved around the death of others.
The Weight of Knowing
Understanding that something tragic may be approaching due to my feelings or dreams is challenging, especially when those fears come to fruition. When I was just seven years old, I told my mom that the founder of Wendy’s, Dave Thompson, had died. Although she initially dismissed it, she later learned from a coworker two weeks later that he had indeed passed away. We didn’t even watch the news, which made the event even more baffling.
There’s no clear explanation for how I come to “know” things; it’s just a part of me. I never sought this ability, nor do I particularly want it. Yet, it has its downsides. The weight of anticipating tragedy based on my instincts can be overwhelming.
A Haunting Dream
In 2016, I had a horrifying dream where one of my children died at home, which left me in a state of sheer panic. Tragically, just a week later, my four-month-old daughter passed away from SIDS. This led to endless questioning of whether my dream was a premonition and if I could have done something differently. Could I have somehow intervened? Why didn’t I heed my subconscious? How did I know such a devastating event was imminent?
These questions haunt me daily, as I grapple with the reality that, deep down, I sensed I would lose a child. But I only connected the dots retrospectively, after the fact—when it was too late to change the outcome. This experience has made me acutely aware of the importance of my intuition. While I can’t base my entire life around it, I can’t help but wonder if these unsettling feelings and dreams serve as a form of preparation for the tragedies I’ve faced.
Ominous Feelings
Just last year, two of my close friends were expecting babies simultaneously. I couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that they both would experience miscarriages. I know it sounds terrible, but this wasn’t just a fleeting thought; it was an undeniable sensation that lingered. I never voiced these grim thoughts out of fear they might come true, yet they did. Within three days, both friends lost their pregnancies.
The burden of these gut feelings and dreams is heavy. They aren’t magical, nor do they qualify as psychic insights or prophecies. I don’t fully understand them. Perhaps they stem from accumulated knowledge, heightened awareness of my surroundings, or unarticulated emotions concerning others. The human brain is intricate and often perplexing, making it hard to determine how I can sense what lies ahead.
Finding Balance
These instincts can’t be the sole foundation for my decisions. If I were to alter my life every time I felt something ominous was approaching, I would be paralyzed by fear. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, noted that fear-driven choices can lead to dire consequences. For example, after 9/11, many people avoided flying in favor of driving, resulting in an increase in highway fatalities.
However, what happens when these feelings aren’t fear-based? When they’re as random as my childhood belief that Dave Thompson had died before it was true? Or how do I rationalize a dream where I witnessed my friend’s life unraveling, only to hear about her brother’s tragic suicide days later?
Honestly, I’m still figuring it out. But one thing is certain: dismissing my intuition after all this time would be a grave mistake.
Summary
Intuition can be both a gift and a burden, leading to gut feelings and dreams that sometimes predict tragic events. The author reflects on personal experiences of foreseeing loss and grapples with the implications of such insights. While these instincts can feel overwhelming, they also serve as a reminder of the complexities of human perception.