When Chuck Norris entered the world, he took the wheel and drove his mother home from the hospital.
By Alex Thompson
Updated: July 30, 2024
Originally Published: Oct. 15, 2019
Before Chuck Norris became an internet sensation, he was known as the iconic Texas Ranger, a sheriff with a heart of gold who cleaned up the streets by taking down the bad guys. He epitomizes the tough-guy archetype, and if you haven’t seen his legendary roundhouse kicks, you’re missing out. His impressive martial arts moves are just one reason why the internet is filled with jokes about him. If you’re in search of some side-splitting Chuck Norris humor, you’re in the right place!
As a child of the digital age, you probably know that the internet has two main purposes: Chuck Norris jokes and… well, that’s about it! With their outrageous claims of strength and bravado, these Chuck Norris facts create a hilariously absurd compilation of feats that are sure to make you laugh until you cry. And if you think that’s funny, just wait until you see what Chuck Norris can do himself! Here are some of the most amusing Chuck Norris jokes to brighten your day.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet; he intimidates the sh*t out of it.
- When Chuck Norris slices onions, the onions cry.
- Chuck Norris once counted to infinity—twice.
- The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before going to sleep.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books; he gives them a stern look until they reveal their secrets.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he’s not lifting himself; he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
- Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of fire.
And that’s just the beginning! It seems like there’s no end to the hilarity Chuck Norris brings. If you’re hungry for even more laughter, you might enjoy our collection of jokes about animals that kick, including donkey jokes, horse jokes, and kangaroo jokes.
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In summary, Chuck Norris jokes continue to entertain audiences with their over-the-top claims and absurd humor. From his legendary feats to his ability to intimidate inanimate objects, the legacy of Chuck Norris lives on in the form of laughter.