Dear America,
It’s currently 6 a.m., and I’m attempting to download yet another lengthy lesson plan from the latest educational app we’ve been forced to adopt. So let’s get straight to the point: please, just go home. I’m begging you, on behalf of all parents struggling to manage this chaotic homeschooling situation. We simply can’t face this again come fall.
I understand, Carol. You’re eager for the country to reopen. Trust me, I am too! I haven’t stepped outside in weeks. My conversations with my houseplants have become strangely emotional, and I often find myself retreating to the bathroom just to scream into a towel in peace. Every parent I know is fed up with being cooped up with their families, yearning for the outside world. But you know what I want more than anything, Carol? To not still be stuck homeschooling my kids in October.
I’m not an educator. Just yesterday, I had to Google how to explain long division. I can barely say “hexagon” without stumbling. I’m just hoping that by the time this is all over, my kids will still know how to read. And it’s not just me—parents everywhere are struggling. We need schools to reopen in the fall, and the only way that will happen is if we all STAY HOME RIGHT NOW.
Oh, what’s that, Dan? You want to get back to work? Believe me, I completely understand! I just held a conference call from my closet, discussing a contract while my son shouted from the bathroom about a concerning bowel movement. And you know who else wants to return to work, Dan? My child’s second-grade teacher, who is trying to juggle lesson plans for 22 students while managing her own children at home. None of this was in her job description, nor should she have to risk her health by going back to school before it’s safe. Our teachers deserve so much more than what they’re given, especially during these times.
And yes, I know you think all of this is an overreaction, Maddie. You believe the virus is being exaggerated to keep you from getting your hair done. I get it—my roots are a mess too! But to be brutally honest, Maddie? I couldn’t care less. At this point, I’m not interested in any conspiracy theories regarding my right to hair dye. The virus is still a real threat, and it’s keeping me home with children who are intent on listening to the same soundtrack on repeat. I absolutely cannot endure this for another six months, Maddie.
But let’s entertain this scenario. We throw caution to the wind and reopen all the restaurants, shops, and beaches. It seems great for a week. Then Jim over there—yes, you Jim—starts coughing, ends up with a fever, and finds himself in the hospital. Since we all gathered together, we’re all at risk. And what does that mean? Another shutdown. And do you know what that translates to for me, Jim? My kids at home for months again while I try to teach them from a lesson plan I barely comprehend, all while juggling my job and trying to keep my sanity intact.
I have to run—my son has a Zoom call with his kindergarten class in five minutes, and I think he may have locked himself in the cabinet under the sink.
Now, I realize this may not be the most popular request. I fully expect some backlash, but if it provides you with some comfort, my kids have come up with much worse names for me over the past several weeks. So, take a deep breath. If that doesn’t work, try hiding in the bathroom to scream into a towel. It’s surprisingly therapeutic. And remember, we all share the same goal: open beaches, lively restaurants, and packed schools where our kids can spend seven hours away from us. We can achieve this! Just GO HOME.
Summary:
This open letter urges Americans to stay home to ensure a safe return to schools in the fall. The author expresses the immense challenges parents face in managing homeschooling and balancing their own work responsibilities during the pandemic. It emphasizes the need for collective responsibility in order to protect teachers, students, and families as communities navigate the ongoing health crisis.