During quarantine, I’ve gained new insights into my family. My son has showcased his impressive LEGO-building skills, while my daughter’s artistic talent has truly shone. My husband has proven to be quite handy with car repairs, and our dog, while not the brightest, remains adorably charming.
However, all this togetherness has also illuminated certain less-than-stellar traits. Spending endless hours together has made me painfully aware of my kids’ notable struggles—particularly when it comes to family walks. Imagine attempting to walk a mix of a sloth, a feral cat, and a blind cow on a hilly path with no sidewalks; that’s the best way I can describe the experience.
Our Latest Excursion
Now, I know you might think I’m exaggerating. But let me recount our latest excursion.
I started to pump them up for a walk around 11 a.m. They were less than enthused, insisting on various other activities first. This pushed our departure time back significantly, landing us in the heat of the day—classic parenting move, right? I often find myself knowing an outing will be chaotic yet proceeding anyway. Life coaching services are available for anyone interested!
After a solid ten minutes of coaxing them to put on their shoes and locating the dog’s leash, we finally set off.
My son insists on donning flip-flops for our walks, which is obviously a poor choice. The moment we step outside, he trips over a curb and tumbles, sending his sandals flying. He cries, puts them back on, and continues to walk while lamenting about how “ouchy” they are. We barely make it to the next house before I notice he has somehow managed to wear his sandals incorrectly. I correct them with a bewildered expression, and we proceed.
We have a miniature dachshund, and our new neighbors coincidentally have two that are quite similar. Excited to see them, my daughter quickly falls into despair upon realizing they’re not home. Four houses away from our own, she bursts into tears, declaring she wants to go back.
At this point, both kids had already shed tears, and the temperature was soaring. Sensing their reluctance, I encouraged them to rally and keep moving.
The pace is excruciatingly slow; I think a snail nearly overtook us at one point. Sure, children are naturally slower walkers, but this was something else entirely. They take the tiniest steps, reminiscent of a dainty Paso Fino horse, but with none of the elegance. Moreover, any time they spot something remotely interesting, they freeze in place, like a computer that has crashed.
My son trips twice more and loses his shoes four times. They both become distressed over a “scary bug.” We pause by a sewer drain for five minutes because they want to see a crocodile. When I insist we move on, they act as if I’ve broken a promise to them about petting said crocodile.
Eventually, we reach the spot where they can feed ducks—the one aspect of the walk they look forward to. Of course, there are no ducks in sight.
As we turn back, my son only loses his shoes once more. My daughter asks why I’m forcing her to take walks. At this point, we nearly lose the dog, and everyone keeps stepping on her. After what felt like an agonizing journey, we finally make it home—having covered a mere three-quarters of a mile. Good times, indeed!
Despite the chaos, I know it’s important for their health and development, so I’ll keep doing it. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a walk—by myself. I hear there’s an intriguing crocodile in the sewer that I’d like to check out.
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Summary
Family walks can be a chaotic experience, especially with young children. Despite their slow pace, frequent stumbling, and emotional outbursts, these outings are important for their development and exercise. Though challenging, the journey is a reminder of the joys and trials of family life.