Some days, I feel overwhelmed to the point of despair. Those days are filled with shouting, tears, and a cycle of frustration that seems never-ending. I often find myself silently praying for a moment of peace, internally reciting the Serenity Prayer while my children look on, wondering if I’ve finally lost my mind.
On these challenging days, I find myself pleading with my children to complete their schoolwork independently, allowing me a brief moment to catch up on my own tasks. I wish for peaceful playtime between them, as my older son, Jake, grows weary of constant interactions with his younger sister, Mia, who is insistent on another round of hide-and-seek.
These days, I juggle two demanding roles: a full-time employee and a dedicated teacher. After finishing a conference call, I quickly switch gears to assist Jake with his assignments, following the guidelines of his educational plan. I create step-by-step instructions to help him navigate his tasks with minimal assistance, just like his aide would. I monitor his need for breaks, allowing him to stand or move around as needed, similar to what his classroom teacher would do. I am grateful for my background as a speech therapist, which equips me with the tools to support his learning effectively.
When I turn my attention to Mia’s distance learning on her iPad, I face a barrage of technical hurdles. Where is that assignment located? Did I catch the latest class updates? Why won’t this link work? Amid my frantic attempts to manage their learning, work emails continue to flood in, demanding my attention.
By 1:00 p.m., I retreat to my designated workspace to conduct therapeutic groups for the next two hours, during which I cannot assist my children. They know not to interrupt, yet I often receive notes slipped under the door: “Can I use my iPad now? I’m so hungry! Mia is bothering me!”
The tension between my professional obligations and parenting responsibilities is palpable. In these moments, I feel as though I am being stretched thin, attempting to fulfill two roles simultaneously within one body.
Like many parents, I am both physically and emotionally drained. The challenge of balancing work with homeschooling feels unsustainable over time. The thought of what the summer may bring fills me with anxiety.
However, amidst the chaos, I feel a surprising sense of familiarity. This level of exhaustion isn’t new to me; it echoes my pre-pandemic life. Before COVID-19, I was already feeling the weight of exhaustion. My mental load was already at capacity, and I was juggling numerous responsibilities without sufficient self-care.
I often rose early to prepare breakfast, manage laundry, and pack school bags, all before heading to work. I rushed from one child’s activity to another while tackling household chores and homework in the evenings. Even with my husband’s support, I struggled to prioritize my own well-being amidst the demands of family life.
The pressure to perform at superhuman levels crept in gradually, and I suspect I’m not alone in feeling this way. The responsibilities of parenthood seem never-ending, creating a cycle of tasks that often overlook our own needs.
If there is a lesson to be learned from this challenging time, it is that I must start prioritizing my own needs alongside those of my family. Self-care isn’t just about a brief escape for a manicure; it’s about making significant lifestyle changes. I am not superwoman; I am just Julia.
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In summary, the journey of balancing work and parenting during these unprecedented times has been overwhelming yet strangely familiar. The lessons learned about self-care and prioritizing personal well-being are crucial for navigating this challenging landscape.