By: Laura Thompson
As my eldest son navigated yet another day of online schooling, it became painfully clear that he loathes the traditional classroom setting. Hours spent confined to a desk are not his idea of a fulfilling life. Instead, he thrives on physical activity, relishing his time at the gym and engaging in hands-on work. For the past few years, he has been employed as an assistant plumber, often juggling two jobs at once—all by his own choice.
As he nears his senior year of high school, he has made it clear that he has no intentions of pursuing a college degree, and I couldn’t be happier for him. While I would have supported his decision to attend college or a trade school if that was his wish, my husband and I initially assumed our children would follow the same educational path we did.
Parenting teaches you that you can’t impose your expectations on your children. Once they reach their teenage years, it’s essential to release any preconceived notions unless you want to engage in a constant uphill struggle. I could easily pressure my son to pursue higher education, trying to dictate the course of his future, but instead, I choose to support his aspirations and embrace the advantages of forgoing college.
For one, we are spared the mountain of paperwork associated with college applications and financial aid. The thought of accruing debt and navigating the complexities of loans and scholarships is daunting enough, let alone the prospect of managing college essays and applications on top of his already busy life. Since he has no desire to attend college, I’m ready to throw my hands up in relief and enjoy this newfound freedom.
He’s done his homework and has a clear plan: he wants to enter the plumbing trade and can do so without the burden of student debt. It’s a sensible choice for him, and he’s determined not to end up as a basement-dwelling adult waiting for opportunities to knock. Unlike my own uncertain path at his age, he has a vision and is eager to pursue it.
Moreover, we understand that he can always change his mind and opt for college later on if he desires. Just because he isn’t heading to college right after graduation doesn’t mean he’s closing any doors. This autonomy allows him to explore and make decisions for himself, ensuring he won’t look back regretting that we forced him into a path he didn’t want.
All parents have dreams for their children, but when it became evident that traditional schooling and college wouldn’t bring my son joy, I decided to release those expectations. It’s expectations that often lead to disappointment. My priority is his happiness, and while some may perceive my support as a lack of ambition, it’s quite the opposite. I trust him when he says he’s eager to graduate and finally embrace a life that feels authentic.
I’ve witnessed how fulfilling his job in the trades has been for him, and I refuse to delay his pursuit of happiness simply because society dictates that college is the next logical step post-high school. What is “normal” for one individual may not resonate with another, and I have no intention of battling him over what feels right for him. After all, it’s his life, not mine, and the energy spent trying to change his mind would be futile.
So, as countless parents and students prepare for college in the upcoming year, my son and I will likely be scouting out apartments or condos. He’ll relish the chance to wake up daily, excited to go to a job that makes him feel skilled and confident.
The greatest advantage of allowing my son to forge his own path is knowing that he is happy. No scholarship, school, or degree can compare to that joy. Isn’t that the ultimate goal for all parents? How fortunate is he to find his passion early on instead of following a path dictated by others?
In conclusion, supporting my son’s choice to skip college may defy conventional expectations, but it ultimately fosters his independence and personal happiness. It’s a decision that honors his individuality and empowers him to pursue his dreams.
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