In the early hours of the day, my son, Eric, found himself overwhelmed by the demands of online schooling. By 9:30 a.m., he was already frustrated—his virtual classroom password wouldn’t work, he struggled to grasp two assignments from his daily agenda, and the relentless rain outside eliminated any chance of outdoor play. I could sense his distress, and honestly, I was feeling it too. Besides trying to assist him, I was also juggling the e-learning needs of my other three children.
Like countless families, we’ve navigated the tumultuous waters of crisis-driven education. Initially, I aimed to meticulously manage every aspect of our new routine, but this quickly became unrealistic and draining. We had to reevaluate our priorities: what could be let go, and what was essential? Despite adhering to a daily schedule designed to provide stability, it became evident that there would be days when we simply needed to step back and declare a mental health day.
It’s important to recognize that remote learning does not equate to a stress-free environment for our children. In fact, it has often been more challenging for them. I am not equipped to teach complex math concepts, facilitate speech therapy, or assess when my child is ready for the next reading level. My kids can sense my own frustrations, which creates a cycle of tension that affects us all. When my mental health is compromised—especially during episodes of anxiety—I’m unable to support my children in managing their own emotional well-being. Parents must remember that they cannot effectively nurture others when they themselves are running on empty.
This approach isn’t about shirking responsibilities when difficulties arise. Living through a pandemic is inherently challenging. The combination of me and my partner working from home while attempting to guide four children through their studies has been anything but easy. We’ve yet to achieve a flawless balance, as I genuinely doubt that such a thing exists. Some days, it’s necessary to acknowledge the need for a break to preserve our collective sanity.
The truth is, if our children are struggling emotionally, their learning suffers. There’s no value in pushing them to complete assignments or attend virtual classes if they’re not mentally present. Forcing a child to engage when they’re feeling overwhelmed drains their limited energy and focus, leading to frustration all around. As parents, we have the authority to declare a day off in favor of mental health.
We have a unique opportunity to guide our children in recognizing and responding to their mental and emotional needs. If they experience signs of anxiety or depression, it’s crucial for them to acknowledge these feelings rather than suppress them. The best way to instill this lesson is for parents to demonstrate how to take a mental health day and to give their children permission to communicate their need for a break.
I refuse to push my children to the brink of emotional exhaustion. Instead, we adopt a proactive approach. When I notice signs of distress, we pause our activities. We might enjoy a healthy snack, spend time outdoors, or set schoolwork aside for a bit. If we feel it’s necessary to take a longer break, we’ll dedicate an entire day to relaxation. We’ll dress in our pajamas, engage in free play, and perhaps enjoy a movie together. Sometimes, all a child needs is the reassurance that it’s okay to step back and reset.
You may wonder how educators respond to this approach. The teachers of my children have been incredibly understanding and supportive. Many of them are navigating their own challenges with remote learning while teaching our kids, so they truly empathize with our situation. We maintain open lines of communication with them, discussing when we might need an extended deadline or require a redo on an assignment. We have never faced pushback for prioritizing our mental health.
Some parents may view my approach as coddling, believing mental health days are impractical in “the real world.” However, this isn’t the usual reality we know. The COVID-19 pandemic has ushered in a new paradigm that requires us to adjust our expectations and behaviors. As parents, we have the chance to model resilience and adaptability while also teaching our children the importance of self-advocacy.
Our children’s mental health is just as vital as their emotional, spiritual, and physical health. These aspects are interconnected, and when one suffers, it can impact the others. Thus, we choose to take mental health days when needed, just as we would if a child were physically unwell. We unapologetically prioritize our children’s overall well-being, not just their education.
I refuse to push my kids to the point of total burnout. We’re actively working to lighten their workloads where possible to ensure their task lists are manageable. When challenging days inevitably arise, we recognize the need for a mental health day. There’s always tomorrow.
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In summary, the importance of mental health for our children cannot be overstated. As we navigate the challenges of remote learning and family dynamics, prioritizing emotional well-being is essential for their overall health and development. By allowing for mental health days and modeling self-care, we foster resilience and understanding in our children.