In the realm of relationships, discovering our ‘elephants’ is essential for cultivating meaningful connections. During a recent moment of frustration while urging my children to step away from their devices, I stumbled upon a captivating video on social media that showcased a honey bee covered in honey.
As the beekeeper placed the struggling bee at the hive’s entrance, the worker bees sprang into action, diligently cleaning their companion. Each bee focused on a specific area — one attended to the face, while others took care of the wings and body until the bee was restored and able to fly again. Intrigued by the cooperative nature of these bees, I reflected on the metaphor they represent for the friendships we should strive to maintain. This curiosity led me down a rabbit hole of research about honey bees.
Interestingly, honey bees seem to lack a sense of democracy; they are led into submission by their queen. The process of selecting a queen involves a game akin to “eeny, meeny, miny, moe,” which ultimately leads to the birth of a queen who never submitted a resume for the position. She exerts control over her workers through hormonal influence, which, in turn, renders them infertile. Once her influence wanes, the worker bees discard her and choose a new leader. I’ve encountered a few ‘honey bee’ friends throughout my life — not the kind of companionship any woman truly desires.
It’s crucial to understand that we won’t resonate with everyone, nor will everyone resonate with us. Accepting this reality took me time, but it’s a vital lesson. As I continued to call out to my children to engage in productive activities, I found myself exploring the social hierarchies within the animal kingdom. To my delight, I discovered my metaphorical companions — the elephants.
Elephant herds are composed of females led by a matriarch, who earns her leadership through respect and wisdom rather than through arbitrary selection. Her experience assures the herd that she is capable of making sound decisions. Like any effective leader, she welcomes input from all members, including the youngest elephants. Each member possesses a distinct personality that contributes to the group’s overall success and survival. They work collaboratively to defend one another, shield the young calves, and provide mutual support. Elephants also exhibit a profound capacity for empathy and grief when a member passes, and they remember those they’ve been separated from for long periods.
The significance of nurturing strong friendships cannot be overstated. Similar to elephants, my circle of friends comprises a diverse array of incredible women. Some are family, while others have been lifelong companions whose bonds remain unbreakable despite time apart. One friend even attended a drive-thru confession during the pandemic, and if I ever find myself at the pearly gates, rest assured I’ll mention her: “Excuse me, God, would you mind checking that list again? SH is part of my parade, and she attended drive-thru confession.” Although I’ve never participated in confession, if it can be done like ordering a cheeseburger, I might consider it in the future.
These friends are as varied as day and night, yet they complement each other seamlessly. Each person possesses a unique insight or gift that can take time to uncover. The wisdom of an elephant matriarch is similarly revealed over time, as she proves her capability to lead.
It’s often said that everyone has a friend for every stage of life, but only a fortunate few maintain the same friendships throughout all phases. Among my companions, one has remained more consistently present than the others. We might have even shared time in a hive with honey bees. Though I wasn’t gifted a biological sister, I was blessed with a “soul sister.”
My soul sister and I share a unique ability to lighten the mood with inappropriate humor during difficult times, while also understanding the pain that lies beneath our coping mechanisms. A true friend stands by you through both the dawn and dusk of life. Sharing your burdens is the ultimate act of friendship, and finding someone who can also make you laugh during tough moments is a bond to cherish.
As you navigate life, seek out your own parade — surround yourself with individuals who will defend you, bolster your spirits, and bring laughter even in adversity. Should you be lucky enough to find such a companion, ensure they are a kindred spirit ready to assist you without hesitation.
However, it’s crucial to steer clear of the proverbial honey bees.
For further insights on friendship and personal growth, you might find it valuable to explore resources like this blog post on home insemination and the guidance on fertility supplements. Also, the CDC’s resource on pregnancy offers excellent information.
In summary, the essence of friendship lies in mutual support, empathy, and the ability to make each other laugh through life’s challenges. Just as elephants rely on their matriarch, we too must seek out those who demonstrate wisdom and loyalty in our lives.