Parenting is no easy feat, and during a global pandemic, the challenges multiply. For those of us navigating the world of preschoolers who can’t quite comprehend why their routine has been disrupted—like trips to the park or playdates with friends—it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. It’s a bit like being thrown into a high-speed batting cage without any protective gear.
So how do we convey the realities of the world to young children, ages two to four, without transferring our own anxieties while still highlighting the seriousness of the situation? Initially, I thought it best to say nothing at all. Let them enjoy their carefree childhood, right? However, as swim lessons and school closures piled up, I realized I had to address the sadness my child expressed about not seeing his friends. The realization hit me like a dagger to the heart.
As a parent, how do you explain a world turned upside down when you’re still trying to wrap your own head around it? With a heavy heart, I decided to reach for a surprising ally: pepper.
Pepper, as in the spice, not a friend. A few months prior, my husband and I had undertaken the challenge of potty training our newly turned three-year-old during the holidays, thinking we had all the time in the world. Little did we know, we would soon be locked down for weeks. To make matters worse, just before everything changed, my son began resisting hand washing, leading to a battle of wills that felt as daunting as navigating Dante’s Inferno.
That’s when a friend shared an enlightening video on Facebook showcasing the effectiveness of soap. In the clip, a parent places a bowl of water in front of a child, adds black pepper, and then drops in some dish soap. The pepper then scatters, illustrating soap’s power. Inspired, I decided to give it a try during one of our hand washing standoffs.
To my surprise, the experiment worked like a charm. My son finally understood the importance of washing his hands, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Now, whenever he hesitates, I simply remind him about the pepper, and he rushes off to wash his hands.
During our first week of quarantine, my son grew restless and began questioning when we would return to our normal activities. I initially attempted to keep the topic of COVID-19 off-limits. However, it dawned on me that I could leverage the pepper experiment to explain the situation. I explained that, metaphorically speaking, the world was covered in pepper, and we needed to wait for the doctors and nurses to clean it up with soap. I wasn’t sure if this would resonate, but he seemed to understand.
In the weeks that followed, he would often ask if the pepper was still around, and each time, I would respond affirmatively. It was a bittersweet exchange, as he accepted the reality with a resigned “Oh, okay.” Just last week, he panicked about a crow in the yard, fearing it might get “peppered.”
I can’t help but think I’ve inadvertently created a fear of pepper in my son. I attempted to clarify the distinction between the cooking spice and the metaphorical “pepper” that represents our current reality, but my explanation fell flat.
If you’re also grappling with how to elucidate why everything feels so chaotic to your young children, know you’re not alone. These are trying times, and it’s okay to celebrate the small victories and navigate the tough days with a deep breath or even a good cry.
To the future partner of my son, I apologize in advance if he avoids pepper in all its forms. That one’s on me.
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Summary
Parenting during a pandemic presents unique challenges, especially when explaining complex situations to preschoolers. Using a creative approach like the ‘Pepper Experiment’ can help convey important messages about hygiene and safety, even if it leads to unintended consequences. It’s crucial for parents to navigate these discussions with empathy and creativity while acknowledging the emotional toll on both themselves and their children.