In the midst of a global pandemic, my decision to wear makeup daily may seem trivial, but it serves a deeper purpose. I’m not in pursuit of being the ultimate quarantine version of myself; truthfully, I find myself in the same leggings for days on end, sometimes switching between two pairs as laundry looms. I stretch the intervals between hair washes, convincing myself I’m preserving products or allowing my hair to rejuvenate with its natural oils. Yet, my makeup routine remains unwavering—every single day.
There are occasions that warrant a polished appearance, such as my work commitments. I engage in virtual meetings with clients and lead online fitness classes to instill a semblance of normalcy for others during these chaotic times. However, even on days devoid of professional obligations, my eyeliner is meticulously applied, with the winged look as perfected as my skills allow.
It may seem vain, especially with the world grappling with a life-altering crisis. Healthcare professionals donning protective gear to care for those affected, while essential workers brave their jobs under constant threat, makes my morning mascara application feel superficial. Yet, it’s a ritual I perform, often in solitude, without any intention of impressing others.
Reflecting on my past, I recall moments from my late husband’s funeral—unbearable memories that include standing in front of the bathroom mirror, applying black eyeliner to my puffy eyes. I recognized the absurdity of doing my makeup in such a moment of grief, yet it provided me with a façade, a sense of control amidst overwhelming sorrow. I feared that tears would expose my vulnerability; I wanted to present the strongest version of myself, even if it was merely an illusion.
Experts offer insights into the psychological benefits of maintaining a makeup routine during lockdown. Dr. Sarah Green, a clinical psychologist, suggests that makeup can delineate workdays from personal time, helping to combat the merging of spaces and routines. However, I wear it on weekends too, so this isn’t my sole motivation.
Dr. Mark Thompson, a psychologist at Central Health Institute, points out that amid uncontrollable external circumstances, the act of applying makeup can instill a feeling of agency. The ability to control even minor details—like the length of my lashes—can be quite soothing.
Moreover, the process of putting on makeup can serve as a meditative practice. Dr. Green elaborates that focusing on a singular task with intention brings a sense of calm. Engaging in this ritual allows me to escape from the barrage of anxiety-inducing news and distractions, if only for a few moments.
Beyond all these reasons, I wear makeup today for the same reason I adorned my eyes on that day of loss. The act of applying makeup offers me a sense of familiarity and recognition in a world that feels increasingly alien. It’s not about deceiving anyone into believing I’m unaffected by the ongoing turmoil, but rather about maintaining a connection to the person I know myself to be. In a time of uncertainty, there’s comfort in seeing a reflection that feels like home.
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In summary, my daily makeup routine during quarantine is not merely an act of vanity but a vital source of comfort and control. It fosters a connection to my sense of self in an ever-changing world.