As summer approaches, I find myself filled with anxiety yet again. For the past thirteen years, being a Black mother to a teenage son has meant facing the season with a certain trepidation. This year, compounded by the ongoing pandemic and the horrific murder of George Floyd by police officers in Minneapolis, my fears have escalated. The subsequent protests, violence, and unrest only heighten my concern for my children and yours.
What I desire for my son mirrors what all mothers hope for their kids: the chance to create cherished memories, forge friendships, learn, grow in responsibility, and ultimately, to thrive. I want him to experience the joy of summer and to chase his dreams. Yet, I can’t help but ponder whether my white mom friends share these same fears—that their teenage sons might not reach the 9th grade or live a full life.
The video captured by a courageous 17-year-old named Mia serves as a painful reminder that our lives and those of our children are often taken for granted. So how can we, as moms, learn from George Floyd’s tragic death?
Just like the pandemic prompted a collective struggle for survival, the fight against racism should unite us as well. We must all carry the weight of shock and anger over the ongoing injustices faced by Black individuals at the hands of law enforcement. We cannot ignore this reality or pass it on to another generation; change must begin now.
Shared Challenges and Collective Action
As mothers, we all face challenges. We share our experiences in mom groups, on social media, and among friends. Our love for our children can be a powerful catalyst for change. We can rally together to support Black mothers, to understand their fears and aspirations for their children. Attend rallies, sign up for workshops, and confront your own biases. And don’t forget to bring your kids along.
Imagine if the dreams you have for your child were abruptly stolen away by a police officer’s suspicion. What if your son was murdered in broad daylight? How would that feel? Do you think your child’s skin color affects how they are treated by law enforcement? Do you worry when they step outside to play?
Take a moment to reflect on that discomfort. It should evoke feelings of unease, anxiety, and sadness.
I have grieved for mothers I’ve never met—like those of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Trayvon Martin, and countless others. As mothers, we cannot wait for the next tragedy to ask, “What can I do?” or “How can I help?”
Guiding White Moms Towards Allyship
As a Black woman and a mother, I feel a responsibility to guide white moms. I can help connect you with resources to become more aware and confident allies, not only for mothers like me but for our children as well. Statistically, Black women are 1.4 times more likely than white women to be killed by police, and Black men face an even grimmer reality.
Now is the time for proactive action, rather than reactive responses to tragedies. Years ago, I attended a workshop called “Undoing Racism,” which fostered meaningful dialogue among women and helped us address our biases.
Let’s start the journey of self-discovery. Just because you grew up in a diverse community or have Black friends doesn’t exempt you from being complicit in everyday microaggressions. The first step in becoming an ally is committing to education. By doing so, you empower your children to stand up for their Black peers when the moment arises.
Be the Change
Be brave. Whether with friends, family, or colleagues, be willing to be the lone voice. Speak out against police violence, racism, and microaggressions. Your children are observing your actions, as are mine. Challenge the assumption that a Black man or woman in handcuffs is guilty. Engage with valuable resources like Bryan Stevenson’s “Just Mercy”, and the documentaries “13th” and “When They See Us” to deepen your understanding of these issues.
Our children are the future. They will inherit a world shaped by our actions today. Let us leverage our privileges as white mothers to advocate for justice. This is not merely one person’s fight; it is a collective battle we must all engage in to bring about meaningful change.
From one mom to another, let’s commit to being present, to listening, and to growing together in our efforts to save lives. Together, we can mourn for Philando Castile, Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, and Eric Garner, among so many others.
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In Summary
As mothers, we hold the power to influence our children and communities. By educating ourselves, standing firmly against injustice, and encouraging our kids to be active participants in creating change, we can foster a more equitable world for everyone.