In recent weeks, my child has been asking repeatedly about the possibility of meeting up with friends. “Can I go for a bike ride with them?” they implore. It seems like everyone else is hanging out, and it’s disheartening for them to feel left out. My consistent response has been, “I understand that this is tough, and I’m sorry, but my decision remains unchanged—for now.”
The decision to keep my child home has not been easy. I’ve questioned myself, weighed the risks, and considered the emotional implications. Yet, my instincts are urging me to proceed cautiously. There’s no rush to return to what was once normal.
Every family makes choices based on their unique circumstances, and I respect that. Some parents may prioritize social interactions differently, especially regarding the seriousness of COVID-19. Personally, I believe it’s essential to treat the situation with utmost seriousness.
I’ve tried to prepare my child for these circumstances. I’ve explained that as states begin to “reopen,” families will make differing decisions. Just because something is permissible doesn’t mean it’s advisable. We are making choices that are in our family’s best interest, considering our specific context.
However, for a teenager, or anyone for that matter, no amount of prior discussion can fully alleviate the sting of exclusion. Witnessing peers biking without masks regularly serves as a painful reminder of their situation. “But I’m the only one not hanging out!” they protest.
First and foremost, it’s crucial to clarify that they’re not alone in this experience. Many children are adhering to safety recommendations, and they are not the only ones missing out on social events. It’s easy to feel isolated during adolescence, a sentiment I empathize with from my own experiences. I try to remind them that this feeling of missing out doesn’t disappear with age; rather, it can be managed. They can learn to be comfortable saying “no” and making choices that align with their values, trusting that true friends will remain supportive.
Kids often require more than just reassurances; they seek understanding. It’s vital to explain the rationale behind decisions, be it regarding social gatherings or other privileges. I’ve taken the time to discuss what we know about COVID-19, the associated risks, and what it would take for my partner and me to feel secure about allowing them to socialize again. I’ve expressed my own anxieties and highlighted our responsibility to protect at-risk family members. I keep reiterating that soon, they will be able to see their friends, just not quite yet.
Am I being overly cautious with my pandemic guidelines? Some might think so, while others may argue the opposite. This ambiguity is a common challenge in parenting, particularly during these unprecedented times. Ultimately, I believe my child grasps the intent behind our decisions. They may be frustrated, but they understand that our choices are motivated by a desire to ensure their safety and the well-being of others. As the saying goes, this too shall pass. One day, they will reunite with friends, return to school, and enjoy shared experiences again. I hope that through this process, they emerge more resilient in navigating feelings of exclusion, and that they grasp the importance of caring for others, even when it requires personal sacrifice.
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Summary
In the face of ongoing social distancing, a parent must balance their child’s desires for social interaction with health considerations. It’s crucial to communicate openly about safety concerns while fostering resilience in young people as they navigate feelings of exclusion.