My 19-year-old son, Alex, works at an upscale steakhouse located in the heart of our city. He had a shift last Saturday night.
At first, I was thrilled to see him getting so many hours on his schedule. I understand the risks of being in public with the ongoing pandemic, but since he was sent home from his university after Spring Break due to public health concerns, I’ve become increasingly worried about how isolating it is for him at this age to be away from his friends.
As many parents of teenagers can attest, it’s a delicate balance. For my son, I believe it’s important to wear a mask and work a few days each week. It feels like a risk worth taking in the ongoing balancing act I navigate as a single parent.
That was until this past weekend… I found myself glued to the news for seven hours. It was the first time I had tuned in since the tragic death of my husband. I hadn’t watched any news reports since I witnessed the devastating aftermath of his accident on multiple channels. But on that Saturday, something compelled me to turn on the television.
Tensions were escalating in our downtown area. My youngest son was down there, completely unaware of what was happening, busily working away. My primary concern was ensuring he got to his car safely after his shift. I texted him to come straight home post-work and avoid any protests or large gatherings.
He replied, assuring me there were no protests in our city, that they were only happening in major urban areas. He even added that if there were a protest, he would definitely want to check it out. That’s when I realized I might have a dilemma on my hands. It hadn’t dawned on me that he wouldn’t shy away from the demonstrators; instead, he’d seek them out. He has always had a strong sense of social justice, and I admire that about him.
At that point, I hadn’t even watched the video of George Floyd’s death. I confess I’ve been living in a kind of protective bubble since my husband’s passing. Maybe it’s just an instinct for self-preservation? When I finally did watch the video, I was inconsolable.
When Alex returned home a few hours later, exhausted from a demanding night at the restaurant, he was completely unaware that there had indeed been a mild uprising in our medium-sized city, with more protests anticipated the next day.
The following morning, he woke up to a flurry of texts from friends informing him about a daytime rally organized by Black Lives Matter, set to commence that afternoon at the steps of our state capital and march toward the police station.
I had heard about it the night before, so I was already aware. I spent the night searching for reasons to convince him not to go. I had a myriad of valid concerns—from the presence of hate groups protesting against the peaceful demonstrators to some trivial “Mom concerns,” like reminding him he’d need sunblock for his fair skin in the sweltering heat.
I know, those are weak excuses. But I was desperate. My youngest son is a mix of charisma and compassion, much like a blend of Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran.
Ultimately, after a sleepless night weighing the pros and cons, I realized that I’ve raised all five of my children with a strong sense of advocacy. I was never the type of mother to chase after them with jackets or tissues; I trusted them to recognize their own needs. However, I always stood firm on moral issues and the importance of treating others with respect.
I distinctly remember telling each of my children that they bore a responsibility—no, a MANDATE—to defend those who are bullied. I once told Alex that if he stood by silently when witnessing bullying, he was just as guilty as the perpetrator.
Now, my kids tease me about being overly sensitive. I guess I can accept that. Maybe I’ll even include it in my eulogy someday. Is that a thing? I hope writing your own eulogy is a thing.
As I brace myself for my kids to stand up against the injustices they see in the world, I pray it won’t cost me any of them. I know I’ll hold myself accountable (as well as their father, who was never one to shy away from challenging authority).
It seems we’ve raised a generation of determined, strong-willed individuals who not only speak up for themselves but also for others.
What we can do as a generation is show up at peaceful protests (they need our presence), contribute to funds, organize vigils, and alter the conversation for the sake of humanity. Most importantly, we must demonstrate our pride in our children for standing up for what’s right. And of course, we can still make sure they wear sunblock.
This article was originally published on June 5, 2020. For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out this post on intracervical insemination.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s encouragement for her son to participate in the Black Lives Matter protests. It reflects on the challenges of parenting during tumultuous times, highlighting the importance of social justice and moral responsibility instilled in her children. The author navigates her fears regarding safety, while also recognizing the necessity of standing up for what is right, ultimately emphasizing the role of parents in fostering a sense of advocacy in their children.