Every day, I rise with the intent to write, create, and nurture my four Black children. Lately, my focus on anti-racism has intensified. While I’m grateful for the opportunity to engage in this important work, it weighs heavily on my heart and mind. Every action I take—or fail to take—affects my children’s lives profoundly.
In recent weeks, amidst a tumultuous landscape of confusion, anger, and resolve, I’ve felt an additional layer of sadness. Some of our white friends and family members have chosen silence regarding the injustices faced by individuals like Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and Breonna Taylor. They continue to share cheerful images of their children and light-hearted memes, indicating that they are active online. Yet, we are acutely aware of who chooses to speak out and who does not. This silence feels like a betrayal to our family.
I can’t help but mentally catalog those in my circle who openly express that Black Lives Matter and those who don’t. Their silence feels personal. If they claim to adore my children and enjoy our family moments, why do they remain silent on these critical issues?
In discussions with fellow Black mothers, a common theme emerged. Many are also observing who supports the movement and who resorts to “All Lives Matter,” the blue lives flag, or critiques of rioting without acknowledging Floyd’s death. Equally troubling are those who opt for neutrality by saying nothing at all.
Choosing silence equates to complicity in oppression. By failing to take a stand, they are inherently supporting the status quo. The message is clear: silence is compliance. Silence is violence.
I was raised to believe that witnessing harm without intervening makes one just as culpable as the perpetrator. In the fight against racism, being a passive observer is no longer acceptable. White individuals must choose to be allies or, unfortunately, they risk being seen as oppressors.
Those who remain silent often do so due to their own discomfort and fragility. They may feel threatened by a shift in societal norms that no longer place them at the center. However, their discomfort is not the issue. I urge anyone grappling with these changes to explore, learn, and seek ways to contribute positively. Ignoring the issue will not lead to a resolution.
Racism will not fade away simply because some choose to ignore it. Addressing problems directly is far more effective than denial. The time for “faking it” is over; we can now discern who is truly committed to combating racism.
I understand that some may struggle with how to articulate their thoughts during this time. It’s important to realize that it’s not necessary to craft the perfect message on social media or in conversations. Any expression against racism, no matter how imperfect, is better than silence.
Engage with literature on anti-racism and consider introducing anti-racism books to your children. Follow Black voices on social media and amplify their messages. Watch insightful documentaries like Ava DuVernay’s 13th or the newly released Just Mercy. Open up dialogues about race and express your willingness to learn.
Do not allow feelings of guilt or fragility to hinder your path toward becoming an anti-racist. Racism is a nationwide issue that requires significant participation from white individuals to dismantle systemic oppression.
Some may assert that they cannot be racist because they have Black friends or identify as “colorblind.” Such sentiments often overlook the historical and ongoing struggles faced by many in our society. These responses serve more as self-protective excuses than as genuine understanding or empathy.
Racism extends beyond overt acts; it has a long, violent history and manifests in various forms—stereotypes, microaggressions, discriminatory hiring practices, and more. It can even be reflected in allegiance to symbols rather than to human dignity.
Silence conveys to friends of color that their lives do not truly matter and that they are only valued in certain contexts. It suggests a preference for quiet over courage and a reluctance to learn. Silence maintains the status quo while injustices persist.
I implore everyone, especially my white friends and family, to reflect on their silence. This refusal to confront racism not only harms my family but also affects every person of color they encounter. Either Black lives matter, or they do not—there is no middle ground.
In summary, the choice to speak up or remain silent carries significant weight in the fight against racism. Everyone has a role to play. Engaging with the issue is essential for creating meaningful change.
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