The day my eldest child entered her new preschool is a moment I will always remember. While waiting for her class to emerge from the building, I stood with other parents, anxious and hopeful. When the door swung open, a little boy burst out, running to his mother with excitement, declaring, “There’s a new kid in our class, and she is brown!” His mother’s startled expression was evident as she quickly shushed him and ushered him away, unaware that the new “brown kid” was my daughter.
This experience highlights a significant issue: many white parents feel uncomfortable discussing race with their children. Instead of engaging in these important conversations, they often choose neutrality or avoidance, which is neither effective nor beneficial, especially in today’s social climate. As a multiracial family, we often confront the consequences of parents’ reluctance to address racism directly. Children need guidance and knowledge about race to grow into anti-racist individuals. Fortunately, there are several proactive steps parents can take to educate their kids on this vital topic.
It can be daunting to navigate the complexities of anti-racism and then teach this understanding to children. However, embarking on this learning journey together is perfectly acceptable. You don’t need to have everything figured out to start imparting these lessons to your kids.
Moreover, children are never too young to learn about race. Many parents worry that discussing racial differences might instill negative ideas in their kids. The truth is, children are likely to encounter diversity and discussions about racism, whether through social media, news, or peer interactions. As parents, it is our duty to prepare them for these realities, and anti-racist education should be a part of our responsibilities. Here are some suggestions to help you begin:
1. Incorporate Movies and Shows Addressing Race
Select films and series that explore themes of race and racism to watch as a family. For instance, consider titles such as Ruby Bridges, Remember the Titans, and Hidden Figures. Ensure that your selections also include media where people of color take center stage in uplifting narratives, such as Black Panther or Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. After viewing, engage your kids in discussions about the plot, characters, and historical context, drawing parallels to current events.
2. Cultivate a Diverse Circle of Friends
Encourage both your children and yourself to develop friendships within a racially diverse community. These authentic interactions foster understanding and awareness. However, it is essential to recognize that having friends of color does not automatically make someone anti-racist. Relationships should be genuine, not tokenized. Consider the diversity in your local community, places of worship, and extracurricular activities.
3. Discuss Racial Terminology
Equip your children with the vocabulary necessary for meaningful conversations about race. Explain terms like “anti-racism” and clarify inappropriate phrases they may encounter, such as “race card” or “black-on-black crime.” Teach them to identify and confront racism when they see it. For example, if a family member makes a racist joke, model the behavior of addressing it directly without excuses.
4. Select Literature that Promotes Racial Equity
Choose children’s books authored by people of color that feature diverse protagonists. According to Lee & Low, only a small percentage of children’s literature is created by authors from marginalized communities. Prioritize reading material that reflects true experiences and avoids harmful stereotypes.
5. Support BIPOC-Owned Businesses
As businesses begin to reopen, use your family’s spending power to support establishments owned by people of color. Whether it’s purchasing books from a Black-owned store or dining at an Asian-owned restaurant, these choices can teach children about the impact of their consumer behavior.
By taking these steps, you can provide your children with the knowledge and experiences necessary to understand and combat racism. Remember, you are learning alongside them, showing that their values, choices, and actions have significance.
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In summary, raising anti-racist children involves intentional actions and discussions that foster understanding and empathy. By actively engaging in these practices, parents can help their children navigate a complex world with awareness and compassion.