I have a lot of appreciation for my friends who are in the same life stage as I am. Recently, a few of us gathered for lunch, and we found ourselves discussing how quickly our emotions can shift—from feeling incredibly sad one moment to suddenly energized, and then, out of nowhere, furious enough to need some space. It was a moment of deep understanding.
Since hitting my mid-40s, I’ve become all too familiar with mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere. In my younger days, I could usually pinpoint what triggered my feelings. Now, it feels like I’m on a rollercoaster that’s lost its brakes. It’s refreshing to connect with my friends in their 40s about these changes because we all need that reassurance that we’re not alone in this phase of life.
Hormonal changes are no joke. Over the past few years, I’ve often found myself wondering why I feel so strange and unlike my usual self. I vividly remember when my mother was going through perimenopause (and she made sure to remind my sisters and me about it daily). I swore I wouldn’t be so dramatic. Yet here I am, overwhelmed by trivial things that shouldn’t affect me.
One friend shared a story about how she sped away from her boyfriend’s house because he bought her the wrong donut—a ridiculous reaction, yet one she couldn’t control. Another friend wakes up drenched with sweat in the early hours, her mind racing, and her mood noticeably different, prompting comments from her younger friends about her behavior. Being around her has been comforting; it normalizes my experiences.
Even in my 30s, I thought I wouldn’t be affected by hormonal changes. I was a cheerful person who rarely cried. But let me tell you, the you in your 30s has no idea what’s in store for the you in your 40s. Buckle up because these mood swings will have you relating to Thelma and Louise on a whole new level.
Dr. Mia Thompson, a board-certified OB/GYN and wellness expert, recently explained via email that we can attribute these mood fluctuations to hormonal shifts occurring in our bodies as we approach menopause. As estrogen and progesterone levels decline, women may experience irritability, fatigue, anxiety, and even forgetfulness.
This explains why I find myself asking my kids the same questions repeatedly or why I burst into tears over a few strands of hair on the bathroom floor. It’s also why the simple sound of someone swallowing can trigger intense headaches. Adapting to any change has become increasingly challenging.
Many women I know are expending so much energy trying to reconcile their feelings, leading to a cycle of guilt and frustration. Society doesn’t make it easy either; there’s no mantra that celebrates embracing menopause. Instead, we’re taught to fight it at every turn because it disrupts the status quo.
Dr. Thompson adds that declining estrogen levels affect how our bodies manage serotonin and norepinephrine, both linked to mood regulation. Low serotonin can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, while dropping progesterone levels can disrupt sleep and calmness. Lack of sleep exacerbates these feelings, and as someone who thrives on at least seven hours, I’ve found those nights to be increasingly rare.
Moreover, hormonal fluctuations lead to physical symptoms like hot flashes, weight gain, and dryness, making this period even more challenging. Dr. Thompson reassures that while these symptoms can persist for months or even years, there are ways to manage them.
One natural remedy for alleviating mood swings during perimenopause is black cohosh, which has been shown to help with hot flashes and insomnia. Combining it with Vitex (chaste berry) can also provide additional relief. Another effective supplement is ashwagandha, known for reducing cortisol levels and alleviating anxiety. A diet rich in vitamin B6 and omega-3 fatty acids can bolster serotonin levels and help mitigate mood swings.
Additionally, some women find yoga, deep breathing, and meditation beneficial for managing stress and irritability. However, if your mood swings significantly disrupt your daily life, Dr. Thompson encourages seeking professional help. Medications, such as antidepressants, can provide balance when used alongside therapy.
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Summary:
Perimenopause brings significant mood swings and emotional challenges for many women. Hormonal fluctuations can lead to irritability, anxiety, and sleep disturbances, impacting daily life. While these symptoms can last for an extended period, natural remedies such as black cohosh and ashwagandha, along with lifestyle adjustments like yoga and diet changes, may help. If symptoms are severe, seeking professional help can be beneficial.