As an Asian-American, I understand the complexities surrounding names for people of color. Often, we face the frustrating reality of having our names mispronounced or having to answer questions about whether our “American” names are our “real” names. This experience serves as a constant reminder of our perceived foreignness and exclusion.
While I personally have not faced significant name-related challenges, I refuse to let my children endure similar indignities. Some parents prefer to honor their heritage through their children’s names, but I’ve opted for the advantages that come with my husband’s distinctly German surname. The truth is, unconscious bias around names is a real issue, and many mediocre individuals have long benefited from their “typical” names. If adopting a more conventional surname can mitigate even a small portion of the biases my multiracial children will encounter, then I am fully on board.
This is my way of shielding my kids from the systemic inequalities that persist. Moreover, why should anyone insist that my children have names that reflect ethnic identity? Their appearance doesn’t need to dictate what their names should be, nor should ethnic names be viewed as any less valid.
Just because I chose more conventional names for my children doesn’t mean I’m disregarding their rich backgrounds. They were born in America, just like my husband and I. They are people of color, and they embody both their Asian roots and their American identity. They can be both and not have to choose one over the other. My children can also embrace their heritage and the diverse naming traditions prevalent among Asian Americans, who often give their kids both an American name and one that honors their lineage.
It’s important to remember that names in the West have diverse origins, many tracing back to multi-ethnic roots. So, who really gets to own the concept of names? My kids have both Chinese and American names, a balance that they’ve navigated without confusion—just as I have with my own names. While I don’t feel the need to label them with overtly ethnic names, I will always support them if they wish to use their heritage names in the future.
Though some advocate for making others pronounce names correctly, which I completely respect, I also believe in the importance of not having my children’s beautiful names mangled by those who struggle with them. All of their names are valid. We are all trying to navigate life in a society shaped by systemic issues, and I resent the notion that my children need to fit a predefined standard of what an “Asian enough” name should be. We can recognize multiple truths in naming without diminishing any of them.
Regardless of what they are called, my children are fully Asian and fully American. Their identities are complete simply by existing.
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- Reasons for choosing conventional names for children
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- The importance of name pronunciation in cultural identity
Summary:
This article explores the complexities of naming children in a multiracial context, emphasizing the challenges faced by Asian-Americans regarding name recognition and bias. The author discusses their choice to give their children conventional names while still honoring their heritage, and highlights the importance of embracing multiple identities without conforming to societal expectations.