In a hilarious twist on domestic life during the pandemic, Drew Patterson decided to surprise his wife, Emma, with a ‘bathroom safe’ to safeguard his often-misplaced grooming tools, like nail clippers, from disappearing. You know how it goes—living with someone means your belongings mysteriously vanish. Just when you think you’ve bought a brand new pair of nail clippers, poof! Gone. Drew has come up with a rather unconventional solution: a literal safe, reminiscent of those used for firearms, which he now uses to protect his hairbrush, tweezers, and nail clippers from the inquisitive hands of Emma and their two children.
During the ongoing pandemic, both Drew and Emma have openly shared the ups and downs of being parents and partners in a lockdown situation. Emma has taken to documenting their daily antics on Instagram, dubbing it their own little reality show, and it’s a source of endless entertainment.
In one of her posts, we find Drew at his wit’s end, convinced that his wife and kids are the culprits behind the missing nail clippers and tweezers. To ensure his essentials are safe, he excitedly opens his newly purchased safe. “I measured my bathroom drawer before I ordered this so it fits,” he announces proudly.
Emma humorously captions the video, “In this episode, Drew takes measures to safeguard himself from the ferrets that live down the hall, while I confess to accidentally tossing out an essential piece of his shaver.” The “ferrets” Emma refers to are, of course, herself and their kids—Drew’s affectionate nicknames for them. At one point, he even likens his children to chimpanzees, showcasing just how exasperated he is at this point, leading him to buy this bizarre bathroom safe. Emma admits to tossing away the piece of the beard trimmer and when asked for her reasoning, she simply shrugs it off with a “I dunno, man.” And when Drew rants about his kids “stealing” his grooming tools, Emma quips, “Babe, you can’t say ‘stolen’ when your kid takes your stuff.”
One follower perfectly encapsulated the moment, saying, “This is the most relatable marriage squabble and I LOVE IT. Frustration, laughter, and a touch of absurdity—it’s all there, and I’m here for it.”
In “episode 2,” Drew demonstrates how the safe fits in his drawer, leading to a debate over the appropriate number of towels a family of four should have. Drew insists on “two,” while Emma argues for a greater quantity. In episode three, Drew goes into a detailed inventory of his missing toiletries, revealing, “60% of the Apple TV remotes are gone, 100% of the tweezers, and 100% of the nail clippers.” At least he’s taking a methodical approach to his toiletry-induced meltdown.
A big thanks to Drew and Emma for brightening our day with their relatable chaos.
If you’re interested in more information about home insemination, check out this resource on intracervical insemination, as well as this guide on at-home insemination kits, which is a great authority on the subject. For more about pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC offers excellent resources.
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In summary, Drew Patterson’s humorous struggle to protect his grooming items from his family highlights the relatable chaos of life during a pandemic. With their lighthearted approach, Drew and Emma remind us all that laughter is essential during trying times.