“Have you reached your limit?” I found myself pondering this question aloud one fateful morning on May 2, 2013. Bent over my bathroom sink, I felt as though my insides were poisoned—because, in truth, they were, thanks to my own choices. My body trembled under its own weight, and I stared at my reflection: a weary, bloated version of the young woman I once was, haggard and hungover. Again.
I had to muster the strength to make it to my job as a special education teacher at a junior high in Northern California. On the surface, my life seemed picture-perfect: newly married, a new home, and aspirations of starting a family. Yet, a chilling thought haunted me each day: I’ve always dreamed of being a mother, yet I would forsake that dream just to indulge in more drinking. I was aware that tonight would likely follow the same destructive pattern.
I realized I could not persist in this manner any longer; I had known it for a while. The harsh reality was that I was not living; I was merely existing in a state of decline. At 29, I was exhausted from being sick and tired. I longed for the pain to cease, but the thought of living without alcohol felt unbearable. The mental turmoil and obsession had overtaken every aspect of my being. So, I made a choice I had never made before: I sought help.
Fast forward 7.5 years later, and I am the proud mother of three wonderful daughters who have never witnessed their mother consume even a single drop of alcohol.
Sobriety is not a spontaneous event; it requires deliberate effort and support. It was during the pandemic that I felt compelled to become a proactive advocate for sobriety, particularly for mothers. The isolation brought on by COVID-19 drew stark parallels to the darkest periods of my addiction. The pressure for mothers to use alcohol as a coping mechanism for the stresses of parenthood has intensified. Many are now justifying their drinking habits under the guise of stress, anxiety, and depression.
As a recovering alcoholic, friends and family often confide in me about their concerns regarding alcohol use among themselves or loved ones. Does this resonate with you? What began as a couple of glasses of wine at night after the kids were asleep has escalated to downing a bottle alone to numb the daily struggles. The desire for a drink has morphed into a necessity.
Currently, individuals are rapidly transitioning from casual drinkers to full-blown alcoholics and addicts within mere months. We are desperately searching for anything to dull the mental pain caused by this pandemic and its aftermath. We’ve become ensnared by substances that deceitfully promise, “More will erase all this suffering.”
It’s essential to understand: you don’t have to continue living this way. There is an alternative.
Despite addiction being recognized as a treatable, chronic disease by the American Medical Association, it remains shrouded in stigma. People often express sympathy for someone grappling with a mental health crisis but tend to blame the addict for their struggles. What they fail to grasp is that addiction and mental health issues are intrinsically linked. There’s a saying: “To one who has addiction, no explanation is necessary; to one without addiction, no explanation is possible.” When addiction has cost countless lives, why not choose compassion and empathy? These virtues cost us nothing.
After publishing an article titled “How Jake Mitchell’s Relapse is Inspiring My Sobriety” on a parenting blog, I had the chance to interview Alex Harper, the CEO and co-founder of ClearPath, a sober social networking platform aimed at normalizing addiction and eliminating the stigma surrounding it. Alex revealed a staggering statistic: within the first three weeks of COVID, their platform experienced a 1,900% surge in calls for assistance. Messages of despair flooded in: “I have pills lined up on my counter, and I’m going to overdose. I can’t continue like this.” Individuals were reaching out, seeking help while suffering in silence.
Alex believes, “the opposite of addiction is connection,” which is why he, as a recovering individual himself, created a network for those impacted by addiction. Users of the platform can access helplines, treatment facilities, and sober chat groups completely free. They also provide “sober curious” groups, offering a safe environment to explore difficult questions. ClearPath showcases a new way of living—complete with guides for sober lifestyles, sober dating, and even sober vacation spots. Although society often revolves around wine tastings and happy hours, there is a wealth of experiences that don’t require a drink. Life in sobriety is far from dull!
Now more than ever, people yearn for connection. This is why, in a pre-COVID world, we would form a circle and join hands at the end of a 12-step meeting. The circle symbolizes our shared journey. There’s something powerful about connecting with another’s experience, looking a fellow alcoholic in the eye, and remembering that we are all human and not alone.
I will continue to share my journey in sobriety. My vulnerability has become a source of strength. What once filled me with shame has transformed into a means for others to acknowledge their own struggles. By sharing a message of hope, I may just be able to help someone find the difference between succumbing to addiction and flourishing in recovery. This is one of our other blog posts that you might find insightful.
Summary
This article reflects on the author’s personal battle with addiction, exploring the challenges and struggles faced by many, particularly during the pandemic. It emphasizes the importance of seeking help, fostering connection, and the need for empathy towards those affected by addiction. The narrative serves as a reminder that sobriety is attainable and that there is support available for those in need.
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