I met my best friend, Alex, when I was just 19. We were both young and living life to the fullest in New York City. I was chasing my dreams as a dancer, while he was carving a path in the music industry as a producer. From our very first encounter, we clicked instantly, and now, over two decades later, he feels like the brother I never had.
Together, we’ve navigated adulthood, with Alex supporting me through numerous relationships, including my journey to falling in love with my husband. Throughout all the ups and downs that life has thrown our way, our bond has only deepened—and my husband has always been completely comfortable with our friendship.
Now, let me clarify: my husband is not a pushover. I can be quite stubborn, and I appreciate having a partner who is strong enough to keep me grounded. His confidence and willingness to call me out when I need it were major factors in my decision to marry him. Plus, he was one of the few guys Alex liked right from the start.
I’ve always been the type of girl to have male friends. Some may think this implies I don’t get along with women, but that’s simply not true. I was part of a sorority in high school, lived with female roommates, and spent weekends salsa dancing with a group of amazing women. I cherish my friendships with other women, too, enjoying “girl trips” and participating in several mom groups.
The connection with Alex was instantaneous, starting with his offer to grab food on our first day together—it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We’ve shared countless nights out, acted as each other’s wingmen, and supported one another through career transitions and personal challenges.
While I’m a heterosexual woman and Alex is a heterosexual man, there has never been a romantic element between us—not even a kiss. We talk nearly every day, often exchanging “I love yous” (more like “love ya”), and I even traveled across the country to support him during his cancer treatments, just as he has been there for me.
Our friendship is like any close same-sex friendship; we enjoy shopping, indulging in delicious meals, and binge-watching terrible TV shows. He knows me better than anyone, and I can always rely on his honest feedback, even when it’s tough to hear. We’ve experienced everything together: relationships, marriage, children, divorce, and health battles.
I can confide in him about my husband, and I appreciate having a trustworthy male perspective in my life. As for my husband’s thoughts on this friendship? Thankfully, he’s not the jealous type. To him, Alex is no different than any of my female friends. They know each other but aren’t particularly close, and we don’t often hang out together as a trio.
It’s not that my marriage lacks anything; my husband is one of my favorite people, and we lead a joyful life together. He’s the first person I call with good news and the shoulder I lean on during tough times. We can spend hours talking or enjoy comfortable silence side by side.
Both my husband and I value our independence. We’ve never been the couple that’s inseparable, and we both prioritize our social lives outside of our relationship. I have friends he doesn’t know, and he has women friends I don’t socialize with—and we’re both totally fine with it.
I understand that many people in heterosexual relationships feel uneasy about their spouses having close friends of the opposite sex, and I see where they’re coming from. It’s not the norm, especially since many romantic comedies portray male/female best friends falling in love. However, I believe it’s entirely possible to have platonic friendships with the opposite sex.
My husband and I trust each other completely. Our relationship thrives because we’re not overly dependent on one another. So, if you think that no husband should tolerate his wife having a male best friend, we’ll have to agree to disagree. Ultimately, my husband is okay with it—and that’s all that matters to me.
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Summary:
In this article, Claire Johnson shares her experience of having a male best friend, Alex, while maintaining a happy marriage. Both she and her husband embrace their independence and trust each other, making their relationship thrive despite societal norms surrounding opposite-sex friendships. Claire emphasizes the importance of platonic relationships and the supportive bond she shares with Alex, illustrating that trust and communication are key to a healthy partnership.