It didn’t take long for me to realize that distance learning wasn’t a good fit for my 9th-grade son. He has a 504 plan designed to help him stay on track academically and provide necessary accommodations for his special needs. He needs regular breaks due to his Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), time with his school social worker to support his Autism Spectrum Disorder, and tools like a stress ball to help manage his anxiety disorder.
In the U.S., 1 in 54 children are on the Autism spectrum, and 3.3 million kids aged 12-17 are diagnosed with ADHD, often alongside anxiety. For my son, who benefits from in-person support and interaction with adults, the shift to remote learning has been a significant loss. Our dining room table and my efforts can’t replace the structured environment of a classroom or the socialization he used to get outside of our home, especially with his five-year-old sisters.
My partner, a former middle school teacher, understands his academic challenges deeply, as she also has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Together, we strive to support our son while managing our own anxieties about the future and his mental health. We also balance teaching our twin daughters and working full-time, trying to make everything work.
Recently, as the first quarter of his 9th-grade year concluded, we were shocked to see his report card — four Fs in subjects he used to enjoy, like history. I found myself wanting to scold him, but we all knew the real culprit: remote learning and distractions, particularly YouTube.
In the early days of this remote learning transition, I was just trying to survive. Questions flooded my mind: How can I teach my child? How will he find social connections when we’re confined at home? Will he even learn anything this year? Months into this situation, I still feel the strain, and so does my son. As a typical teenager, he is captivated by YouTube, and the constant access to the internet is more of a hindrance than a help. It detracts from his education and goals, especially since his brain isn’t built for being online all day.
In Connecticut, there are 18,716 students diagnosed with autism, emotional disturbances, or intellectual disabilities in our schools. My son is among them, and his special needs make remote learning particularly challenging. I imagine many other parents in similar situations are feeling the same frustration.
Moving forward, we must find ways to improve his grades and keep him socially engaged during these trying times. Connecticut’s education commissioner has expressed a commitment to providing support for students with special needs, but I’m still waiting for concrete plans for my son’s education.
Entering 9th grade is a tough transition for any student, but in-person learning provides the structure necessary for navigating this important year. With the support of guidance counselors, teachers, and other staff, students can thrive. This is especially true for my son, who requires more support than most.
His school day starts at 7:30 a.m. with homeroom on Google Classroom, but he often gets sidetracked by YouTube before even logging in. With 80-minute class periods and teachers still figuring out how to use Zoom, maintaining his attention is a struggle. By the second period, he’s usually engrossed in YouTube instead of his studies.
Could I monitor him more closely? Sure. But that would impact my own work, and sitting next to him during class would alter our relationship dynamics.
As we navigate these unprecedented times, I realize that this is not the normal we should be aspiring to. Ultimately, I want my son to succeed and learn the value of hard work and social interaction. It’s up to us, as his parents, to help him through this, even as a special needs student. I hope we can find a way to make it work.
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Summary:
The shift to remote learning has proven to be a significant challenge for my son, who has special needs. With a 504 plan in place, he requires in-person support to thrive academically and socially. The distractions of online learning, particularly from platforms like YouTube, have negatively impacted his education. As parents, we are striving to find ways to support him through these difficult times while navigating our own challenges.