My Children Have Become Less Playful and Creative During the Pandemic

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We once maintained a screen-free household. I was the mom who strictly prohibited television and video games. However, a gradual shift began, even before the pandemic arrived. My partner gifted our three boys a retro Nintendo emulator, which led to more binge-watching of shows like Clone Wars. Then, social isolation hit, and suddenly, all electronics became fair game. Tablets, Nintendo, TV—they craved it all, especially since 2020 had taken away their ability to socialize with friends. When my partner bought our nine-year-old a fancy gaming system for his birthday, I realized I was fighting a losing battle against their growing screen obsession.

Electronic-Addicted Kids Want Their Devices Constantly

I wake up to the sound of children engrossed in their tablets. Gone are the days of simple games like Angry Birds; they’ve moved on to bizarre titles featuring dinosaur zoos and dragons. I attempt to enforce a rule of no electronics until school is over, and occasionally, we stick to it. Yet there are mornings at 4 a.m. when my son, unable to sleep, whines while I just want to write.

My nine-year-old has taken to questioning me about the gaming system’s use. “Can I turn the computer on?” he asks repeatedly, growing increasingly frustrated with each refusal. By noon, his impatience turns into anger, and I find myself saying no once more.

One afternoon, I took my youngest on a short drive to drop off presents at a friend’s house. He insisted on bringing his tablet and even requested I set up a mobile hotspot so he could watch Netflix. When his Kindle Fire couldn’t connect, he whined and complained about being bored. I told him to figure it out—how dare he be forced to play something he had downloaded? Our parents would have told us to simply look out the window!

During lunch, which they eat in the living room, my electronic-addicted children ask if they can “watch something educational.” They know that I’ll deny any requests for non-educational content. But when Daddy arrives home, it turns into a free-for-all with tablets and gaming. I want to converse with him, but we are both exhausted as daylight wanes.

They Struggle to Play Independently

Since our kids have become electronic-addicted, they seem to have lost the ability to entertain themselves. They don’t draw or color anymore. We can force them outside, and they might spend hours playing there, but we have to push them out the door. Left to their own devices indoors, they’ll sit around in their underwear, glued to LEGO Lord of the Rings for hours on end.

When I deny my younger sons their tablets, they often drape themselves over furniture and stare blankly into space. “What are you doing?” I inquire. Their response? “Nothing.” They claim there’s nothing to do, and I list off countless alternatives: crafts, drawing, reading, board games, and LEGOs. Their replies are always the same: “Boring.”

Once, I decided to see how long my electronic-addicted seven-year-old could last without a screen. He managed to stare into space for a staggering 45 minutes.

Acknowledging Our Role in Their Screen Addiction

This situation is, in large part, our fault. We allowed a slow descent into this electronic addiction. I should have stopped my partner from buying that Nintendo, and perhaps I shouldn’t have suggested getting a game system for our nine-year-old. We contributed to this.

It’s not like we were unaware of our children’s tendencies toward screen addiction. They all show varying degrees of ADHD, meaning they’re predisposed to screen overuse. While they spend slightly less time on screens than the average child, they still engage with technology far more than I would like.

As 2020 unfolded, our kids needed entertainment, especially since they couldn’t see their friends. With winter approaching and options dwindling, they turned to their tablets and video games for solace. Who has the energy for arts and crafts when the world feels so bleak?

The Tantrums When We Take the Games Away

The new gaming system was initially shared among the kids, but soon enough, their tantrums began. Announcing that their turn was over could trigger meltdowns, even from my almost 11-year-old. The younger two would scream at bedtime, and disputes over gaming time led to dawdling and ignoring our requests. They were undeniably electronic-addicted.

After using screens late into the night, they began refusing to sleep. Bedtime tantrums became a nightly occurrence, and we could no longer tolerate it.

Steps We’re Taking to Help Our Electronic-Addicted Kids

We’ve taken several measures to help our children reduce their electronic usage. Some changes have been challenging, while others surprisingly simple, yielding remarkable results.

I’ve become firm about no electronics without prior approval. Our kids now understand that “no tablets or games before school” is non-negotiable, encouraging them to read and engage in other activities.

We’ve also introduced a timer system: fifteen minutes per child. It may sound harsh, but they often play together, which allows for extended playtime. They’ve even taken to using the timer themselves for fairness.

After a particularly intense tantrum, we instituted a three-day electronic detox. The first day was a storm of complaints, but by the second day, they began to adjust. This detox helped them rediscover independent play and spend more time outdoors. Now, they understand that we mean it when we threaten to take away their devices.

Thanks to this newfound seriousness, they are more compliant when we ask them to stop gaming. They’ve become less electronic-addicted than before, but if I had my way, they wouldn’t touch video games, and television would strictly be educational (except for The Mandalorian—I’m not completely heartless). In the absence of screen time, they used to draw and create art. They were generally happier and more well-rounded.

As 2020 draws to a close, I struggle with the idea of completely taking screens away from them. They still play more than I prefer, but at least they’re engaging with LEGOs again. Little do they know, when the pandemic ends, I plan to reassess their screen time once more.

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Summary:

The pandemic has led to my children becoming increasingly reliant on screens, diminishing their playfulness and creativity. As a parent, I recognize the gradual shift toward electronic addiction and the challenges it brings, including tantrums and an inability to play independently. We’ve implemented strict rules and timers to help them regain control over their screen time, encouraging them to explore other activities. While progress has been made, I still grapple with the balance between screen time and creative play, especially as the year comes to an end.