I’m not one to embrace trendy labels like “mompreneur” or “mom boss.” I’m just a mom who works a lot.
Before becoming a mother six months ago, I never truly grasped or appreciated the dedication of parents who continued their careers after welcoming their little ones. Yet, here I am, a working mom with my six-month-old son by my side daily, navigating spreadsheets and responding to emails for two companies.
Unexpected Changes
To give you some background, I ended up working for two companies quite unexpectedly. I was five months pregnant when the pandemic struck the U.S. in March. My husband and I had initially discussed our plans for after the baby’s birth. Would I continue working, or would I transition into being a stay-at-home mom? I was lucky to have options. We decided I would take a year off to avoid daycare expenses and enjoy precious time with our baby. Who wouldn’t want to spend a whole year gazing at an adorable little face?
But then the pandemic changed everything. In April, as unemployment rates soared, I felt grateful to have a job. As a Senior Manager of Marketing and Communications at a tech firm in the Bay Area, leaving that behind would have risked our financial stability. So, I made the decision to stay with my current employer as the virus spread in our region.
Becoming the Primary Earner
My husband is a commercial airline pilot, and his industry faced severe challenges. The government had to pass a bailout to ensure future travel and job security for pilots like him. To avoid furlough, he opted for unpaid leave, which meant I became the primary earner while also adjusting to new motherhood.
During my maternity leave, my previous manager offered me a chance to lead communications for her new company. I was excited about this opportunity, especially given the scarcity of jobs at the time. So, I accepted and continued to work with my existing company as well.
With my husband on unpaid leave, I hesitated to leave my stable salaried position for the unpredictable nature of contracting. While the flexibility of contracting is appealing, I need consistency to ensure we have food on the table. So, I chose to juggle both jobs while caring for our lively baby until my husband can return to flying.
Daily Challenges
Every day is a challenge. Due to our social distancing, we’ve opted not to hire help for household tasks or childcare during the day. My husband has taken on the role of stay-at-home dad for the next nine months, which he didn’t anticipate, but we feel fortunate to have both parents at home during this crucial first year of our son’s life.
However, there’s a twist. My husband deals with chronic pain, which can be unpredictable. Some days are manageable, while others leave him unable to get out of bed. Because of this, I often need to step in to provide structure and stability for our son. Here we are, in the midst of a pandemic, trying to balance careers, parenting, and household responsibilities. Thankfully, our cat is quite independent.
Managing Perceptions
From a distance, it may seem like we have it all together. The dishes are clean, the laundry is folded, and the living room is mostly tidy. When I communicate with my teams, they often assume I have outside assistance, and I don’t correct them. Despite working for a company that supports diversity and inclusion, I sometimes feel embarrassed to admit that it’s just me and my husband managing the chaos of parenting. The issue of pay equity for women adds another layer of complexity, making it difficult to openly share that I need to rush from meetings to attend to my child while my husband manages his pain. But I remind myself that I am reliable!
A Day in My Life
In the nitty-gritty of my daily routine, I often find myself in virtual meetings with my baby on my lap, discreetly feeding him while trying to stay focused. When he gets fussy, I bounce him while working on reports and updates, all while attempting to shield him from screen time. After my “day shift,” I dedicate time to play with him one-on-one before preparing dinner and getting him ready for bed. Once he’s asleep, I jump back online to finish the tasks I couldn’t complete earlier due to the demands of motherhood.
Finding Balance
Being a parent is exhausting yet incredibly rewarding. To all the moms out there, whether single, partnered, or married, know that you’re not alone. Some days, I’m not sure how I make it through, while others feel lighter. Even when my baby is crying and my husband is looking for a burp bib while I’m on a call — leading to requests to mute because of the background noise — I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
If you’re wondering how to manage it all, my best advice is to take a deep breath. There’s no magic formula for doing everything perfectly. Simply getting up and keeping everyone going is enough, and you’re doing your best with the circumstances you have.
Resources
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Summary:
After initially planning to be a stay-at-home mom, circumstances forced me to become the primary breadwinner during the pandemic. Juggling two jobs while caring for a six-month-old has its challenges, especially with my husband dealing with chronic pain. Despite the chaos, the experience is rewarding, and I encourage other parents to take things one day at a time.