When my oldest child, Mia, was potty trained, she quickly learned to wake up at night if she needed to use the bathroom. I felt relieved to have one less child in diapers, so I didn’t think much about whether she was ahead or behind in this milestone.
Fast forward, and my younger twins, Jake and Emma, turned four—and five—still wetting the bed. I found myself worrying that they were lagging behind. By the time Jake was six, he had transitioned out of Pull-Ups, but Emma was still in them, which caused her some distress. We talked openly as a family about how everyone’s body develops at its own pace, and it was perfectly normal for Emma’s body to take a bit longer to master waking up dry.
Although I had my concerns about her bedwetting, I received reassurance from friends and our pediatrician that she would likely outgrow it, which is more common than many parents realize. I kept my worries to myself but made sure to offer her the same encouragement. Now at seven and a half, Emma still has accidents at night, but we’ve learned not to stress about it. While she would prefer to not wear a Pull-Up, there’s no pressure for her to stop. Sometimes she feels embarrassed, but I do my best to ensure she never feels ashamed about something beyond her control. Plus, she often gets a laugh out of wearing a clean Pull-Up on her head like a chef’s hat, which lightens her mood.
Understanding Nocturnal Enuresis
When bedwetting occurs in children older than five, it’s referred to as nocturnal enuresis, which can be classified into two types: primary enuresis, where a child has never achieved nighttime dryness, and secondary enuresis, where a child who was previously dry begins wetting again after at least six months. Up to 10% of seven-year-olds still wet the bed, with 1% to 3% of teenagers experiencing the same issue. Primary enuresis is more prevalent and often results from developmental delays in the bladder, kidneys, or brain. Some children may simply have smaller bladders or difficulty waking when their bladder is full.
If a child experiences secondary enuresis, a medical evaluation may be necessary, as it could indicate stress, a urinary tract infection, or other neurological concerns. Genetics can also play a role; for instance, if one parent wet the bed, there’s a 50% chance their child will too, and this rises to 75% if both parents had similar experiences. Before letting frustration set in, consider how old you were when you finally stopped needing to pee at night. Your child might just be carrying on a family tradition!
Possible Solutions
Though medications are available, they often only offer a temporary fix; bedwetting typically resumes when the medication is stopped unless the child has naturally outgrown the condition. Some doctors recommend using bedwetting alarms, which can be effective for about half of those who use them properly. The alarm triggers when it detects the first signs of urination, helping the brain make the connection to wake up. However, it’s crucial to get the child out of bed every time the alarm sounds so they can learn this response.
Our pediatrician also advised limiting Emma’s liquid intake an hour before bedtime, ensuring she uses the bathroom right before sleep, and even waking her up to go again before I head to bed. While this might help train her bladder and prevent overfilling the Pull-Up, I admit I haven’t tried waking her at night—she’s resistant, and I’m not keen on disturbing her sleep.
While it’s frustrating to still be buying Pull-Ups and doing extra laundry, I refuse to make Emma feel bad for not being on the same timeline as her siblings or peers. Just like learning to tie shoes or daytime potty training, children will achieve these milestones when they’re ready. Since discussing Emma’s bedwetting with other parents, my anxiety has lessened. Some have shared that their kids struggled until age ten but eventually outgrew it. If bedwetting continues into the teenage years, a consultation with a doctor is advisable, but for now, it’s essential to trust your child’s natural development.
Final Thoughts
I recommend getting a couple of good waterproof mattress covers and finding an approach that suits both you and your child. Depending on their feelings about bedwetting, they might want to try solutions beyond just waiting it out. But for those who are comfortable in Pull-Ups or nighttime underwear, support them. Adding stress or expectations can only make the situation worse.
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In summary, bedwetting in older children is common and often resolves naturally over time. Understanding the condition, providing support, and avoiding unnecessary pressure can help both parents and children navigate this phase with ease.