The reality is, many parents aren’t sailing smoothly through this quarantine by baking treats and picking up new hobbies. Instead, we find ourselves yelling more than ever and rolling our eyes when our partner isn’t looking. Let’s face it, parents are overwhelmed, needing space, and our ears are practically numb from hearing “Mom” or “Dad” countless times a day. All we really want is a bit of personal space… and for our partners to stop getting on our nerves.
The abrupt halt to our daily routines and being confined at home for extended periods is a challenge we never expected. Honestly, I didn’t sign up to spend every single moment with my partner. This excessive “together time” has made it easy to feel exasperated by our partner’s very presence.
My family and I have been in some form of quarantine for nearly 300 days now… 300 DAYS! What was once thought to be a short two-week period has turned into an endless stretch. So, it’s safe to say that I’m feeling a bit stir-crazy. While a vaccine has arrived and there’s a glimmer of hope on the horizon, we still have many days of isolation ahead.
I genuinely like my partner. We enjoy each other’s company, even if it’s during mundane activities. However, I have spent more time with my partner this year than in the entire 20 years we’ve been together. I can’t pretend that I’ve cherished every second of our confinement. I’ll admit, I’ve daydreamed about karate chopping him in the throat more than once or twice.
There was a month over the summer when we barely spoke to each other. My partner was stressed about being out of work and dealing with a few injuries, while I was overwhelmed trying to manage four kids and keep the household running. My patience was wearing thin, and I was on the verge of flipping out. At one point, I thought one of us might need to move out to save our marriage.
Fortunately, he was able to return to work in September, which helped restore some normalcy to our annoyances. I love the guy, but a little space was definitely needed.
Regardless of how harmonious your relationship was before the pandemic, it’s likely that you’ve hit a breaking point of annoyance during this time. If you’ve experienced anything from mild irritation to extreme frustration with your partner, welcome to the club. This year has tested the strength of every relationship, including those that typically seem rock solid.
A simple post in a private parent group on social media led to a flood of complaints about partners. Some grievances were as trivial as not being able to stand the sound of their partner breathing, while others were more serious, touching on issues like depression and even relationship breakdowns.
Most complaints revolved around those small annoyances we usually overlook. One parent mentioned that the sound of her partner chewing made it unbearable to eat in the same room. Another shared her frustrations about finding little “gifts” like dirty socks and empty bottles scattered around the house. She even joked about throwing a water bottle at him.
Numerous parents lamented that their partners seemed oblivious when chaos erupted with the kids, either disappearing or glued to their phones, seemingly unaware of the household madness. One parent expressed her annoyance at her partner peacefully snoring while she lay awake, mentally ticking off her to-do list.
It’s these minor irritations that can push you over the edge. They might make you fantasize about using a pillow to silence your partner’s snoring. And while I’m not advocating for any kind of physical confrontation, it’s reassuring to know that such thoughts are common.
Most of us haven’t had the luxury of absence making the heart grow fonder. It’s no surprise that everyone feels on edge after months of being confined with their partner. These are challenging times.
I know many are grappling with far bigger issues, and this may seem trivial if you’re worried about putting food on the table. However, that doesn’t negate the need to vent about smaller grievances to avoid exploding under pressure.
So, if you find yourself cleaning frantically while your partner hides in the bathroom for their third hour-long trip of the day, remember you’re not alone. We’re all navigating unprecedented changes in our routines and struggling with a lack of personal space, along with job losses and mental health challenges. If your marriage isn’t being tested on some level during this confinement, consider yourself among the fortunate few.
For more insights on navigating relationships during this time, check out this post on intracervical insemination, or visit Make A Mom for expert advice on couples’ fertility journeys. Also, for valuable information on pregnancy, visit the WHO’s resource on pregnancy.
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In summary, if you feel that your partner’s presence is becoming increasingly unbearable during quarantine, know that you’re not alone. This unprecedented situation is testing relationships like never before. Many are experiencing similar frustrations, and it’s important to find ways to vent and support each other.