Recently, I found myself teaching my 13-year-old son how to cook. We were preparing Dutch pancakes and fried potatoes together, listening to Christmas tunes, while my partner worked on our family budget at the table. It struck me that on a typical Monday in 2019, I wouldn’t have been home yet, usually arriving around 6:10 PM after a 40-minute commute. This year, however, working from home has given me the chance to bond with my children in ways I never thought possible.
With both my partner and I working remotely and our kids learning online, I’ve experienced a significant increase in family time, a sentiment shared by many fathers. Experts suggest that this newfound involvement might become a lasting change. Ann Francke, CEO of the Chartered Management Institute (CMI), stated to The Guardian that the pandemic has opened the eyes of business leaders to the necessity of flexible work arrangements. “Fathers are crucial in promoting gender equality for mothers. Without progress for fathers at home, there can’t be progress for mothers at work; they are two sides of the same coin.”
I’ve noticed a shift in how employers view fathers, and as a father of three, I am thrilled. When my older children were born, I was waiting tables with no sick leave or paternity leave options. I managed to take a few days off, but that was it. When my youngest was born, I had a university job with benefits. However, when I requested a month off to support my partner and bond with our new baby, my boss essentially told me that as a man, I shouldn’t need that much time. This attitude, unfortunately, has been echoed by supervisors and coworkers throughout my career, adding pressure on my partner to shoulder the bulk of childcare.
The pandemic has highlighted a troubling trend where mothers are often left to take on the majority of childcare responsibilities. A recent article in The Guardian described UK working mothers as the “sacrificial lambs” during the childcare crisis brought on by COVID-19. As someone who actively fights for more time to be a present father, this reality frustrates me deeply.
However, there is a glimmer of hope for a more balanced future in 2021. Despite the inequalities, 2020 saw a narrowing of the gender gap in some areas. The UK Office for National Statistics reported a 58% rise in childcare tasks performed by men during the first lockdown in May. History suggests that such shifts often become permanent, which would greatly benefit working mothers. Adrienne Burgess, co-CEO of the Fatherhood Institute, noted that social movements can gain traction during crises, akin to how World War II accelerated women’s entry into the workforce.
While not every man may share my enthusiasm, I find hope in these changes. This year has been a challenge as I navigated adjustments in my career and my family’s education. Yet, my colleagues have gained insight into my life, with many Zoom meetings featuring my child on my lap or nearby. This new work-from-home reality has made it clear that fathers also have childcare responsibilities, perhaps prompting a long-term awakening among employers and fathers alike.
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Summary:
The pandemic has highlighted the importance of fathers’ involvement in childcare, leading to a shift in how employers perceive parental roles. While challenges remain, there is hope for a more equitable future where fathers are recognized as equal caregivers. As work-from-home arrangements continue, it is crucial for companies to embrace flexibility and support both parents in balancing work and family life.