Dear Kindergartener,
This year has truly turned “the world upside down,” as Alexander Hamilton once said in that musical we both adore. However, instead of dwelling on our challenges, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude.
You have been overflowing with what can only be described as pure Kindergartener Energy. Just this past weekend, when I hoped for a moment of relaxation, that vibrant energy kept me on my toes. By Sunday evening, I found myself buried under a mountain of YouTube drawing tutorials, a pile of dishes from our culinary experiments, and layers of costume makeup. I wondered how I would manage the winter ahead, with limited chances to venture outside. I used to rely on our Nintendo Switch or Disney+ to entertain you long enough for a quick nap or a speedy clean-up, but now even those distractions barely hold your interest. So there I was, dozing on the couch at 8:30 PM while you serenaded your unicorn plushie after our goodnight kiss.
Then Monday arrived, and off you went to your dad’s house. Immediately, I felt a pang of longing for your return.
There’s a line from a movie called Friends with Kids where they discuss the perks of being a divorced parent: “Actually, divorced people have it kind of great. They get all of the toxic, unsexy stuff out of the way with the first person, then when they meet the person they really want to be with, they only have to be with the kid half the time… they get all kinds of time together when the kid’s with the ex, then they get QT with the kid because it’s special.”
I often reflect on this quote, especially when you’re with your dad, because it serves as a coping strategy. As you grow up and face challenges beyond your control, finding the silver lining becomes essential. With you only half the time, I cherish the special moments with my partner and appreciate the chance to recharge after a busy weekend. Those are indeed bright sides.
But I cling to this quote, because if I don’t focus on the positive, the reality of sharing your childhood can be overwhelming. Sometimes, despite my best efforts to keep those feelings at bay, they can be too much for this anxious mom. I wouldn’t change a thing about your time with your dad; it’s just as valuable as the moments we share. But to say it hurts is an understatement.
However, “QT” is absolutely right. Every time I see you again, it feels like Christmas when I was your age—an excitement that’s completely fulfilling.
Today, we jumped out of bed early (thanks to your adorable demand for snuggles and a viewing of Bluey), we made eggs together, and giggled as the puppies tried to lick the peanut butter and banana from our toast. We donned fancy dresses and danced around the living room to music on Spotify, creating wonderful memories together.
Though I only get to see you half the time, I am endlessly grateful for the moments we do share—and I am so lucky to be your mom.
Love,
Your Proud Mama