Welcome to Ask Home Insemination Kit, where our team offers advice on life, body image, relationships, parenting, and all those confusing moments we encounter.
This week, we tackle a sensitive topic: What should you do when your partner suggests cosmetic surgery for a body part you don’t see as a problem?
Hello Home Insemination Kit,
I’m eight months postpartum with my third child and have had two C-sections. We’ve decided that our family is complete. Recently, my husband suggested I think about getting a “mommy makeover” to address my post-C-section FUPA. I was shocked and hurt by this suggestion because I’ve never expressed a desire for plastic surgery to “fix” anything about myself. He said he assumed I wanted to regain my pre-baby body and that he would support me in this endeavor. When I asked if he personally wanted me to get the surgery, he said “well, yeah,” but insisted the decision is ultimately mine. This has really impacted my self-esteem. I thought having a FUPA was completely normal, and I wasn’t concerned about it—until now. How can I communicate my feelings to him? How do I return to loving my body after this hurtful comment?
Wow. Just wow.
Seriously, how can someone think it’s appropriate to suggest that his wife, the mother of his three children, should undergo surgery on a whim? It’s baffling. You’ve never mentioned wanting this, yet he thought it would be a positive conversation? Has he ever considered how women feel about their bodies?
You are absolutely right; having a FUPA is totally normal. Your body has gone through incredible changes after bringing three lives into the world, and that should be celebrated, not criticized. You’ve had two surgical births, which is no small feat. Your body is a testament to your strength and resilience as a woman.
If this were your idea, I’d be fully supportive. But since it’s not, let’s focus on the fact that your husband’s comments were thoughtless and have understandably hurt your feelings. You should definitely tell him how his suggestion made you feel. Explain clearly that you were comfortable with your body before he brought this up, and that it’s important for you to embrace your FUPA and all that it represents. If he has issues with your body, that’s his challenge to deal with—not yours. You’ve given him children, and if he expected you to look the same after that experience, then he needs a reality check.
So rock that FUPA confidently, and allow him to sit with the discomfort of his words. He likely means well but needs to understand the impact of his comments on your self-image.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination here. If you’re interested in alternative ways to start your family, consider exploring this link for at-home insemination kits.
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Summary:
In this advice column, a mother expresses her hurt feelings after her husband suggests she undergo liposuction to address her postpartum body. The response emphasizes the normalcy of body changes after childbirth and encourages open communication about feelings. The writer supports body positivity and self-acceptance, while also suggesting that the husband needs to reflect on the impact of his words.