Ah, 2020. A year that will forever be remembered with a mix of disdain and shock. It was a time when happiness was often found “despite” a backdrop of numerous hardships. Successes were acknowledged only within the shadow of significant losses. We often refer to “surviving” the year as a form of success, but then we feel guilty when we realize that merely “surviving” is a rather sad benchmark, especially considering that countless individuals didn’t even reach that minimal threshold. It feels wrong to claim a good year when so many have faced and continue to face unimaginable pain.
And it wasn’t just the pandemic. The tragic murder of George Floyd by police in late May thrust systemic racism into the national spotlight, igniting protests and unrest in cities across the U.S. and around the globe. Wildfires devastated the West Coast, displacing both people and wildlife while destroying homes. The passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a loss felt deeply, only to be followed by a conservative judge taking her place. Meanwhile, misinformation and absurd conspiracy theories seemed to capture the minds of millions.
Yet, amidst all the chaos of last year, I emerged with one significant takeaway: clarity.
2020 revealed the true nature of those around me and the behaviors I am willing to accept. It was akin to coming out as gay—seeing who genuinely loves you unconditionally, identifying the friends who are truly there for you, and recognizing those who hide their prejudices behind a facade of friendship. I learned to let go of toxic relationships and even felt grateful when they fell away on their own. For me, 2020 provided a similar kind of insight.
Wow, I had no idea some people could be this willfully ignorant.
As the pandemic gained momentum in March and April, it became evident that certain individuals in my circle were motivated by political or financial interests to dismiss or ignore scientific facts. The phrase “willful ignorance” kept surfacing in my mind. It’s one thing to be misled or confused; it’s another to intentionally seek out fringe “experts” who validate your biases while ignoring mountains of contradicting evidence. I realized I have no desire to maintain connections with those who choose ignorance. Bye!
Oh, so you’ve been secretly racist all along!
It’s one thing to be uninformed; it’s entirely different to ignore the voices of millions who are trying to illustrate their daily realities. It infuriates me to witness white individuals denying systemic racism while citing data from other white sources as “proof” that it doesn’t exist. Or worse, amplifying the words of a single outlier in the Black community who contradicts the overwhelming majority’s pleas. Just stop talking.
Ah, I see you’re only an ally when it’s convenient.
In 2020, many who had previously remained silent about systemic racism suddenly became vocal. It seemed that speaking out against racism and police brutality was now safe for their public image. While some may have been late to the conversation, many others were well aware of the issues but chose to remain silent. I see you.
Conversely, the support for queer individuals didn’t vanish in 2020, but the enthusiasm for advocacy certainly did. Bigotry and homophobia persist, and organizations like the Family Research Council continue to push their anti-LGBTQ+ agenda. If you were an outspoken advocate for queer rights in 2019—especially if it earned you likes and followers—but went quiet in 2020, just know that we noticed.
I thought you were intelligent, but now you believe wild conspiracy theories.
I understand that this past year has been challenging, and during stressful times, people are more susceptible to believing the implausible. However, how have so many I once considered smart fallen for absurd conspiracy theories? From accusations of celebrity pedophile rings to wild claims about the coronavirus being engineered to implant trackers in our bloodstreams, it’s mind-boggling. The government already has access to your information if you have a social security number or a smartphone!
My patience for certain behaviors has dwindled significantly, and I’m okay with that.
I find myself more inclined to speak up, to tell someone they’re mistaken and why. I’m clicking “unfriend” or “block” on social media more often. My world may have shrunk a bit, but I’m comfortable with this. While I want to stay informed, I prefer to receive that information from less personal sources, like fake news outlets, than from people I once respected.
Is this intolerant? Perhaps. But that’s what I mean by saying 2020 gave me clarity: My mental health matters, and if witnessing your racism, homophobia, or conspiracy theories harms my well-being, I’m stepping back. I refuse to endure it any longer.
Though 2020 was a disastrous year, from its ashes rises a new me, one who will no longer tolerate nonsense.
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Summary
The tumultuous events of 2020 prompted significant personal revelations regarding relationships and societal issues. The author reflects on the clarity gained in understanding the behaviors of friends and family, particularly in the context of political ignorance, systemic racism, and shifting support for marginalized communities. This year served as a turning point, leading to a commitment to prioritize mental health and reject harmful ideologies.