I take pride in being an engaged parent, someone who is in tune with her children’s needs and strives to meet them. However, the ongoing impact of the coronavirus pandemic has left me feeling drained. Since March, we’ve been navigating work and learning from home without a clear end in sight. I’m completely burnt out.
The constant interruptions—from mediating sibling squabbles and negotiating with my partner to fitting in exercise and preparing meals—have taken a toll on my patience. But the most exhausting aspect of this homebound existence has been the relentless decision fatigue.
I can hardly go a few minutes without being asked to make a choice. Whether it’s my kids inquiring about snacks or me deciding between fixing the Wi-Fi or answering an important call, just as I’m about to settle on one decision, another request comes in. It feels like an endless loop.
Making decisions has become as unyielding as a child’s tantrum; you can only ignore the cacophony for so long before you have to respond. When one crisis is resolved, another quickly follows.
Initially, being at home felt like an extended staycation. Sure, we had to work and attend virtual classes, but our expectations were relaxed. We enjoyed leisurely mornings, shared meals, and outdoor play. The warmer weather lifted our spirits, and we held onto the hope that the pandemic would soon pass—a fleeting thought that the virus would simply vanish by summer.
As the days turned into weeks and then months, the reality of our situation became clear. The pandemic was not a temporary inconvenience, and my family relies on me daily for everything from meal planning to chore assignments. Who gets the shower first? How do we manage music practice schedules alongside work commitments? During remote learning, I find myself hopping from one child to the next, solving issues, fielding requests, and trying to maintain my sanity.
I’m grateful for a safe home where we can be together, and we certainly have the space to play and learn. Yet, the constant togetherness has intensified the pressure on me to make every decision for the family. I feel utterly exhausted, and I doubt that a single day of self-care or a quick nap can remedy the nearly year-long decision fatigue.
On one hand, I dislike feeling overwhelmed and lost. I’m a type-A individual—yes, I can be a bit of a control freak. I like knowing what’s coming next, and I excel at organizing. But even with my strengths in creating chore charts and coordinating schedules, my mind and body are simply worn out from being bombarded with yet another question.
These aren’t life-altering decisions, but rather thousands of minor choices that accumulate, often affecting subsequent ones. I frequently end up juggling multiple decisions at once. My partner, Mark, and I have different decision-making styles; I tend to make choices quickly while he is more thoughtful and detail-oriented. This means the kids know they can come to me for quick answers. While I appreciate my husband’s careful approach for long-term planning, the everyday decisions—managing remote learning, keeping the house orderly, and parenting—primarily fall on me. Some aspects of this responsibility I embrace, but lately, I feel resentment brewing with each new problem I’m expected to solve.
I know some might suggest I delegate more responsibilities. Believe me, my children are quite capable. I’m determined not to raise helpless kids; as a former educator, I’ve witnessed the consequences of over-involved parenting.
Others may think I should focus on self-care. I do prioritize it—I indulge in long baths, sleep in on weekends, read, and binge-watch shows. However, the reality is that for most of the day, I am constantly “on.” If you are a parent, you can relate.
The daily grind wears on all parents. We’re doing our best in a situation that none of us anticipated. Remember when we thought 2020 would be our best year yet? That notion has turned into a punchline.
Earlier today, my kids simultaneously approached me asking for snacks just 45 minutes after lunch. For a moment, I was overwhelmed, feeling their demands buzz around me like a swarm of bees. I simply said no. Later, one child asked for early screen time, leading to two others pleading for the same. I found myself repeating no again. While I usually stand firm against such requests, there have been moments during this pandemic where I’ve become so overwhelmed that I’ve declared I will no longer entertain any requests. I am not a DJ at a wedding.
There have also been days when I’ve completely shut down, calling Mark for help and retreating to my room for just a moment of peace—no one asking me to make a choice, no matter how trivial.
This pandemic has brought out both the best and the worst in us, and it has certainly been a learning experience. I’ve established firmer boundaries while also learning to let go of the trivial. Despite my self-care routines, the support of my partner, and having generally well-behaved kids, I am utterly worn out from the constant decision-making.
For more insights on this topic, check out this article on decision fatigue.
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In summary, the relentless nature of daily decision-making in the home can lead to significant exhaustion for parents. While I aim to create a nurturing environment, the weight of constant choices can feel overwhelming. Finding balance, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care are essential in navigating this challenging period.